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Therapist is retiring

Fuk me!!!!!!

just found out my main therapist is retiring.
It has really knocked me! 😵‍💫
😫having to go through it all again with another therapist, just to bring them to speed.
Also I really don't do well with surprises, surprises are a another trigger for me, and this is a big one.

I don't know what to do.
 
I'm hoping your to therapist has given you enough notice to help you work through this with them. They might also be able to pass on information to a new therapist for you so that you're not completely starting over.
 
Smoothest transition is to ask them to refer you on.

Failing that? Ask them for suggestions of who they would recommend.
They are retiring in Dec, they have no referrals or hand over, basically need to find my own.

I'm hoping your to therapist has given you enough notice to help you work through this with them. They might also be able to pass on information to a new therapist for you so that you're not completely starting over.
They are retiring in Dec, they have no referrals or hand over, it me to find my own replacement, need to find a younger one this time
 
I went through this 3 years ago and I've only just found a suitable replacement and still haven't fully gotten over the emotional fallout from it. I had that T for 17 years. I went no contact with my abusive family of origin in my early 20s and that T was part of my substitue "family".

Sorry you're going through it too. Hope the transition goes more smoothly for you than it did for me.
 
Happened this year when T moved away. Old T did give a couple references though.

Once I found a new T met with them and told them I was going full filibuster first session. Just got my history done in one session, paid for talking about trauma after that one session and then moved on.

Don't know what country you are in but Psychology today and others have advertisements for psychologists. I'd look for local associations or clinics as well. Meet with and interview them too. You will know when you find the right one. One of the things I did was give my first T explicit permission to talk to my new T about me. I know they have talked a couple times and it has been helpful for my new T.
 
I don't know what to do.
I would reframe to begin with, as finding a different way to think about things? Helps me find solutions.

For example :

1 - (Rather than being surprised?)

Okay! I have a few months to prepare myself / to smooth the transition / to plan for the best way to make this transition. Soooooo… what can I start planning, or outlining? What do I need most? What do I want most? Do I want to continue on in this type of therapy, or look for a new modality? Can I mock up a brief trauma timeline & goals for therapy & interview questions? Would it be more helpful for me to spend these last months with my old T helping me organise, or should we carry on as we have, and I’ll prepare in my own time?

2 - (Rather than being angry at when/how soon: You didn’t say you were, this is me sharing my own process, and my knee jerk is to be >.< faaaaaawk dammit Che cazzo merde motherf*cking grrrr >.< )

On the upside? How Super lucky is it they’re retiring over the holidays?!? As that’s when most therapists are going to be unavailable for large blocks of time, anyway, this gives me the opportunity to:

a) Start fresh in the new year
b) I have time to organise some temporary &/or ‘in event of emergency break glass’ support options to cover those holiday weeks/months
c) What kind of stress management skills/activities can I add into my life, or double down on, to help bridge the gap?
d) How awesome would it be to always have these extra measures in my back pocket, so my T going on vacation, getting sick, getting in a car wreck doesn’t catch me flat footed & leave me reeling?

3 - (Rather than “having to go through it all again”)

a) If my trauma was processed? I would DGAF about going through it all again, so clearly, I’m not done going through it, anyway. This is just my Avoidance pouncing on an opportunity.
b) Switching therapists is a fantastic opportunity to cliff notes up me, my life, my trauma history, my skills, & my goals.

ET CETERA

It’s rubix’ing around everything I’m thinking / feeling into solutions, excitement, motivation, & just general usefulness / benefit to me and my life.
 
I would reframe to begin with, as finding a different way to think about things? Helps me find solutions.

For example :

1 - (Rather than being surprised?)

Okay! I have a few months to prepare myself / to smooth the transition / to plan for the best way to make this transition. Soooooo… what can I start planning, or outlining? What do I need most? What do I want most? Do I want to continue on in this type of therapy, or look for a new modality? Can I mock up a brief trauma timeline & goals for therapy & interview questions? Would it be more helpful for me to spend these last months with my old T helping me organise, or should we carry on as we have, and I’ll prepare in my own time?

2 - (Rather than being angry at when/how soon: You didn’t say you were, this is me sharing my own process, and my knee jerk is to be >.< faaaaaawk dammit Che cazzo merde motherf*cking grrrr >.< )

On the upside? How Super lucky is it they’re retiring over the holidays?!? As that’s when most therapists are going to be unavailable for large blocks of time, anyway, this gives me the opportunity to:

a) Start fresh in the new year
b) I have time to organise some temporary &/or ‘in event of emergency break glass’ support options to cover those holiday weeks/months
c) What kind of stress management skills/activities can I add into my life, or double down on, to help bridge the gap?
d) How awesome would it be to always have these extra measures in my back pocket, so my T going on vacation, getting sick, getting in a car wreck doesn’t catch me flat footed & leave me reeling?

3 - (Rather than “having to go through it all again”)

a) If my trauma was processed? I would DGAF about going through it all again, so clearly, I’m not done going through it, anyway. This is just my Avoidance pouncing on an opportunity.
b) Switching therapists is a fantastic opportunity to cliff notes up me, my life, my trauma history, my skills, & my goals.

ET CETERA

It’s rubix’ing around everything I’m thinking / feeling into solutions, excitement, motivation, & just general usefulness / benefit to me and my life.
Thanks, I know there are better ways to look at it. It was just all so sudden, and without any hand over or referring etc. It was just a shock/surprise and i don't do well with shock/surprises as they are one of my main triggers. In reality she wasn't a very good therapist. Need to find a better one.

So now on the market for a new one.
Which is making me find more resources
 
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