@shimmerz Ditto, I find myself for the first time in my life with a therapist who is actually able to understand my thoughts, and actions, and is using that to help me confront the horrors in the present that came from the past. We both agree I have made some progress where I never have before. Gives me more desire to work on it instead of shutting down, and turning inward.
In august I will be spending a week at an fun camp for adults, which it turns out is help at the very camp location where my institutional abuse began. Having fun there is a first step to feeling that I can exist safely in such places and beyond. Processing some of what happened there if that can happen. Were putting together a detailed plan on how to handle things. So I can use it to manage the stress that might come into play.
I have always seen life as not worth being in, because of being haunted by the damage done in the past. For the first time I am actually looking forward to getting better instead of getting by.
I can't say it enough times, this T has gone to efforts and even revealed her own trauma, that most or no other therapist has or would ever do. For me with my trust, and threat perception issues, that is a game changer. It has allowed me to take risks with
her I would never otherwise have taken.
I have told her very detailed stuff I never felt safe with sharing with anyone before.
