Therapist Referring Me Away Because Of Self Injury

[Deleted member 1860]

@Fadeaway,
It is ALWAYS a choice, but you just don't know it when you're in the trenches. That is, it goes from "bad feeling" to "acting on bad feeling by harming ones self" almost instantaneously so you perceive that there is no choice.....but yes, there is always a choice whether or not you can actually see you have a choice.

Not getting coping skills from a therapist? Sadly, this is NOT unusual (unless you're in a DBT program or "classroom type" CBT). And even when you are taught coping skills, it's on the level of one to two a week at best. This is why I tell everyone to go to a trauma program/hospital of some sort as you can literally learn dozens and dozens of skills and have 24/7 to practice them under the supervision of psychiatric staff....but most people say things aren't serious enough for a program and I feel bad that they ultimately dismiss one of the best avenues of healing in favor of turtle-slow once a week therapy.

 

[joeylittle]

Spinning off from Solara's point: there are things other than inpatient treatment. Partial Hospitalization Programs (PHP) and Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP) are available in many US hospitals.

They are invariably CBT and DBT based, and will seriously load you up with coping skills. Personally, I also think it's easier to really absorb DBT in a high-frequency (5-7 day a week) environment.

I've done them for depression; however, my groups were full of folks with all the mood disorders, PTSD, personality disorders, those who had survived suicide attempts, those with self-harm disorders.

Life-changing stuff. I was so grateful to have them pointed out to me as an option.

 

[risingsun]

The thing is... I don't self harm everyday. Its just so intermittent. Every couple of weeks, sometimes months. Right now, I am spiraling into a severe depression because I feel like maybe (as desperate as this sounds) I should just apologize to my now ex-therapist for the self harm and/or for the suicidal ideation. I don't know. Went on one of those chat lines and they said, 'well you broke your promise to your therapist.' So that made me feel worse. But the therapist I had didn't teach me any tools. We never had goals or a treatment plan or even a crisis plan. I'm just so used to going 2x a week. For what it was, it was comforting to just feel supported. And the therapist interviewing is so stressful and triggering and there are red flags on both of the therapists I saw so I don't know who to go with. If anything, I wish I had the time to go into a place that could stabalize me. I feel like I'm having a severe depressive clinical episode (meaning I'm having a hard time caring for myself). That being the case, my therapist says she doesn't handle crisis kind of people so I think that may be considered a crisis. I'm so confused. Its like this is all starting to settle in and hit me. I have no therapist.

 

[Hashi]

I should've picked trauma specialists which i never did.

If I've understood correctly, you are now being referred or are seeking trauma specialists?

Pleaee go with that.

I feel that with the people you've seen so far they've failed you because they didn't help you find someone appropriate. In my view that is wrong, and you've suffered for that.

I do think there are good trauma specialists out there, so I hope you can connect to one - through a referral or your own efforts - and I hope you can finally get the help and support you need.

 

[risingsun]

If I've understood correctly, you are now being referred or are seeking trauma specialists?

No referral from the ex-therapist. Just seeking out people on my own. I appreciate your post. The clinical social worker I saw who I found on the internet said something that hit me wrong about an anxiety disorder that someone I care for has. I am a caregiver for this person so that hit me wrong. And the trauma specialist I went to commented on the academic program I'm in and what i dream of doing with it. It was kind of like she was downing or trumping on my dream which I really didn't need to hear right now. She was saying, theres no money in that and blah blah. I usually ignore red flags and now I'm trying to really really go with my intuition. I just feel so lost. Thank you for your post and encouragement. I appreciate it highly.

 

[joeylittle]

If anything, I wish I had the time to go into a place that could stabalize me. I feel like I'm having a severe depressive clinical episode (meaning I'm having a hard time caring for myself).

If you are in the States, please check your local hospitals for Partial Hospitalization as an option. If you need help looking in a particular area, don't hesitate to ask. Navigating the mental health system is hard, especially when struggling.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm sorry things have not clicked with those two.

Maybe you could go back to the trauma T a second time and see if it is just a one time event?

I hope you don't go back to your old t. She should have been giving you skills and no matter what, she is highly unethical for not reffering you and helping you transition to someone new. You were honest with her and struggling. It's not your fault she didn't have the right tools or ethics to help.

When I had to find a new t, it was a horribly painful process of seeing Ts... Now, I'm so thankful I stuck it out to find the t I have now. Before I found her, I saw t after t and my heart broke every time it wasn't the right fit.

I suggest making a list of what you need and want in a t and look for one who will fit most the criteria. If coping skills is something you want, put that down. If someone who supports your educational efforts, put that down. And tell the t. It helps both of you figure out if it might be a good fit.

I hope you find the right t soon. :hug: