Therapist Referring To Herself As My Therapist

[Pencil]

My first post was after a quick scan of the thread (apologies). I get the distancing, and it would bother me as well.

 

[joeylittle]

I'm worried/wondering if she is doing it to create boundaries? If she is, I understand her reasoning behind it, but I just wish she would discuss it or go about it in a different way.

Go ahead and ask her. Mind reading our therapists is something I think we all could win a gold star in. This is a great opportunity for you to challenge your own fears about speaking to her directly and asking a potentially "negative" question. Maybe she is trying to build a boundary; sounds to me more like you have a high sensitivity to this particular issue and you should let her help you with it.

It's awkward to do these kind of topics, I think, because discussing the relationship can feel really uncomfortable. But sometimes its necessary.

 

[ghotiff]

" I'm worried/wondering if she is doing it to create boundaries? "

This is probably an old tape, and not reality. Just my thoughts based on this thread.

 

[ellienad]

@Pencil No worries! The whole thing is just confusing to me.

 

[ellienad]

@joeylittle The idea of her doing it to create boundaries is something that I just thought of as I was typing it, so yes, it is something I will most likely bring up. You're right, I do have a high sensitivity when it comes to this, thus, why it bothers me so much. However, I'm going to be completely honest, you're statement is bordering on being triggering for me...just fyi.

This is probably an old tape, and not reality. Just my thoughts based on this thread.

Do you mind elaborating on this? I'm confused by what you mean.

 

[fatfunkster]

Hi,

It seems a strange phrase to say to someone at all, let alone in the context you describe. It'd be much better just to say "you're here with me, everything is ok" etc. I can't see any utility in a therapist talking about themselves in the second person. There's lots of different approaches to therapy and you should find the one that suits you best and even within each treatment modality there's variation and then there's individual personalities.

 

[Hashi]

Am I the only person who wonders what the problem is here? When I was having therapy, my therapist was my therapist. I didn't have a problem with that.

I don't see a therapist as an authority figure. I was paying my therapist, and I assume you are also paying in some way, even if it's through insurance. What authority figures do we pay directly or through insurance? I don't know about your situation/country, but in mine I can't think of any.

I didn't think of my therapist as anything other than a caring, trained professional whose services I was paying for. This, to me, is not an authority figure but maybe it is to other people? If my therapist referred to herself as "your therapist" I would see that as a description and if anything more was meant by it, I would think what was meant was things like qualification, professional judgement, my best interests, someone knowledgeable helping me etc.

At any rate, I actually think it's healthy to accept that a therapist has a defined role. I like the defined role. It helps with boundaries and it helps with expectations. But that's just me.

 

[Lucycat]

I guess for me it feels a bit strange. Today I have been to see my GP for a physical complaint. Not once did the doctor refer to the fact that she is my GP during the consultation. It would have been superfluous.

I don't see it as a big problem, just a little odd.

 

[Hashi]

But were there issues during the consultation? Did you dissociate or give your GP cause to think you were struggling to take things in? If you had been, would it have been that strange for your GP to try to bring you back to the present by reminding you that you were there, in your doctor's surgery, with your GP?

 

[Chosen]

Frankly, I absolutely hate the word "therapist." A while back I realized that the letters also spell out "the rapist" and that makes me uncomfortable. So whenever my T says that word I just cringe. I much prefer the word "counselor" when I'm talking about my T to people in my life.
I do think it'd be weird for the T to say that. It's awkward. When I was dissociating, my T just said my name a few times in a goofy tone enough to get me to look at him in a questioning way so that he knew I was there with him again. I think it's best just to be told "Hey, you're with me; you're safe." The way your T said it did seem to distance you guys.

 

[Hashi]

Frankly, I absolutely hate the word "therapist.".

Does your counsellor know that, and your reasons why? If so and he keeps using the word then that's a whole other question. If he doesn't know, maybe you just need to tell him?