Therapist Refuses To Do Emdr On Me...

[ReachingOutJ]

She says she thinks I can't handle it, and it will trigger me, so she's going to try IFS. I have been doing EFT at home, by myself. I've been to this new therapist 3 times; she says she is taking some time to get to know me before giving me therapy. My last therapist did not give me any real therapy, she just talked at me, blamed me, and occasionally insulted me, so I left. I hope this new one works out well for me, because I really need the help.

 

[Changing4Best]

I think when a therapist takes a caution like that, it is important to allow them that. If she feels it is too soon in your relationship as patient and therapist, she could be right. I'd suggest being patient, and giving her the chance to decide what is best and when it would be best.

Now, to do with your old therapist, I am glad that you left! What an awful therapy to go through. If I want to be mistreated and bullied like that, all I have to do is to call an old bully from grade school on the phone. Who needs it!

 

[Justmehere]

That could be really wise. IFS (internal family systems) can really help someone become more integrated and able to manage and regulate their own emotions. I have found it to be very powerful. Over time, you may be able to handle EMDR, but it's smart to not jump into it too quickly or when someone is struggling a lot. If you are dissociative, and/or not well integrated (this is not exclusive to DID but applies to many trauma survivors), then doing EMDR too soon (or at all) could be MASSIVELY destabilizing.

This work you are doing now is part of the therapy. Whatever therapy type is used, having a good relationship with the therapist is essential. One study showed that the therapeutic relationship was more important than the type of therapy in terms of long term success of therapy.

I'm really glad you left your old therapist and I hope this one works out a lot better.

 

[Changing4Best]

That is true, about needing a good therapy relationship with your therapist. I had one that was not suited for me at all, as she did children only. However, since I asked for a female therapist, she was the one given to me. It didn't work at all.

 

[SeaQuel]

Was she taking it off the table altogether or just saying that she wants to give it some time first?

My therapist started out doing EMDR with me, but I had a bad reaction to it and it was because I hadn't fully disclosed the extent of my trauma. She thought she was doing EMDR on a singular trauma and then BOOM all this other stuff came up. Once that happened, she realized that we needed to back away from the EMDR. She wasn't taking it off the table forever, but certainly for a while - until I could learn how to ground myself better etc.

I only bring this up because a good therapist shouldn't be doing EMDR with a client before first ensuring they are given proper grounding techniques. I think it goes back to the "first, do no harm" philosophy.

 

[ReachingOutJ]

Thank you.

 

[iwannadeletethis]

Good luck out there!!

 

[ReachingOutJ]

Thank you, Skitzii.

 

[hodge]

I am wondering . . . do you have multiple traumas? If so, that could be another reason your therapist doesn't want to do EMDR. I've read that it is not very effective for people with multiple traumas. Neither my therapist, nor my psychiatrist (who keeps up on everything) have ever recommended it for me. I've also read elsewhere that it is not recommended for people who've had multiple traumas. Sorry, but it may not be the cure all if this is your situation.

 

[ReachingOutJ]

I am wondering . . . do you have multiple traumas? If so, that could be another reason your therapist does...

Yes.

 

[desiderata310]

I am all about caution on the part of the therapist and using EMDR. I had a bad time of it because my therapist tried to jump in too quickly. We spent MONTHS rebuilding the trust that this broke trying to push things too hard.

Not sure about anyone else, but I am all about get me in, get me out and let me get on with my life approach to everything but that's not necessarily how trauma works, I have learned.
SO... take your time.
It'll get done eventually.

 

[desiderata310]

OH! and if you have multiple traumas that's a HUGE thing. For me, one trauma triggered another, and left me in a quivering heap of triggered mess. It takes extra time to tease out the tangles and make sure she doesn't end up with jello for a client. Again, patience and going slow with EMDR- especially with multiple traumas, is a VERY good thing.