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Therapy Canceled, I Do Not See How This is My Fault

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
The therapist emailed me forms to fill out and send back before my appointment. The email LITERALLY said “send back before the appointment”. Ok, fine and dandy, I can do that. So I wake up this morning to send in the forms and I see another email from yesterday saying “if I don’t receive your forms by today I will cancel your appointment and assume you no longer want to come”. Now I’m a straightforward person. People need to say what they mean and mean what they say. If someone tells me to send back forms BEFORE the appointment, then I assume I can send them back at any time BEFORE the appointment. (Right now is still 4 hours BEFORE the appointment.) I am not going to assume that “before the appointment” means “some arbitrary time before the appointment”. One day before? Two days before? Three days before? I didn’t see the email from yesterday, but please, don’t change your “rules” in the middle. 🙄

In addition, the therapists forms require me to sign and know my co-pay in advance. Well, I called the insurance and they can’t tell me the exact co-pay so I can’t even sign these forms anyway. The insurance guy said the therapist would have to call herself. This is bananas. I’ve never had a therapist or doctors office require me to know my exact co-pay.

This wonky communication is giving me bad vibes. I REALLY need someone who is straightforward and this woman seems so flaky.

Like, hell-f*cking-o, you are a therapist and your whole f*cking profession pushes effective communication, but you throw this shit in my lap? This is just bullshit.

Edit. Plus she wants my credit card info for cancellations and fees not covered by insurance. I fear that my credit card would be charged if the insurance takes too long to pay (according to her) ie pays in typical insurance time.

This is all sending up my spidey senses. Ugh.

I guess no therapy today.
 
The therapist emailed me forms to fill out and send back before my appointment. The email LITERALLY said “send back before the appointment”. Ok, fine and dandy, I can do that. So I wake up this morning to send in the forms and I see another email from yesterday saying “if I don’t receive your forms by today I will cancel your appointment and assume you no longer want to come”. Now I’m a straightforward person. People need to say what they mean and mean what they say. If someone tells me to send back forms BEFORE the appointment, then I assume I can send them back at any time BEFORE the appointment. (Right now is still 4 hours BEFORE the appointment.) I am not going to assume that “before the appointment” means “some arbitrary time before the appointment”. One day before? Two days before? Three days before? I didn’t see the email from yesterday, but please, don’t change your “rules” in the middle. 🙄

In addition, the therapists forms require me to sign and know my co-pay in advance. Well, I called the insurance and they can’t tell me the exact co-pay so I can’t even sign these forms anyway. The insurance guy said the therapist would have to call herself. This is bananas. I’ve never had a therapist or doctors office require me to know my exact co-pay.

This wonky communication is giving me bad vibes. I REALLY need someone who is straightforward and this woman seems so flaky.
I complettely agree with your interpretation of "before the appointment" - with that as a guideline, 4 hours before the appoinment should be easy to accept as valid - this problem is clearly hers, though you have to deal with it :-(.
Like, hell-f*cking-o, you are a therapist and your whole f*cking profession pushes effective communication, but you throw this shit in my lap? This is just bullshit.

Edit. Plus she wants my credit card info for cancellations and fees not covered by insurance. I fear that my credit card would be charged if the insurance takes too long to pay (according to her) ie pays in typical insurance time.
I agree that the therapist sounds flakey and it might be best to look for another, but I'm sorry that I don't have advice for you and her wanting your credit card info. For a start, I'd post your wrap-up of:

you are a therapist and your whole f*cking profession pushes effective communication, but you throw this shit in my lap? This is just bullshit.
It could be that she doesn't recognise the level of bullshit she's putting on you - having a bad day or similar. Jog her memory / currrent self that this is indeed bullshit and it's not helpful.
 
I’ll forgive quite a bit of human-dysfunctionalness for a therapist who is shit hot at what they do.

A genius therapist can be completely arse-up as a human running a small business.

It’s a sliding scale. A therapist who is really average gets much less of a free pass making things difficult for me outside the therapy room.

A therapist who is barely helping me cope? Needs to be pretty much flawless in every other way, (for example when it comes to fitting in appointments that suit me).

That’s something I can only judge once I’ve started seeing them, but for me, it helps me keep myself and what I need as my focus. The single most important thing I need, when seeing a T, is that they’re good at what they do. The other stuff can be crazy-making, but isn’t as important to me. It becomes more important only as my first priority starts to be compromised.

Shades of grey in therapy can be difficult to measure. The strong itch is to identify Ts as bloody brilliant, or absolutely shit. Most of them float somewhere in between - the challenge is to try and decide what shade of grey they are, so I can decide how much I’m willing to compromise on peripheral stuff.
 
The volume of therapists show any a credit card on file… like I get they don’t want to hassle with billing but what about the security of that data?

Sigh.

In the end, I need to know a therpaist is on my side, had my back, is working to make things work. In that setting, hiccups and miscommunications about scheduling and etc don’t pull me back so much.

You deserve to have good therapy. It sucks this didn’t work out. I would have interpreted before the appontment the same way.
 
I'd love to knowI had a therapist on my side / at my back / working to make things work! Is there any standard way to make this happen?
 
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