Relationship Therapy Decision

[RetiredAFWife11]

Hello everyone!

I have a quick question that I am having an internal battle with myself over at the moment.

I decided to go to therapy on my own, since I am struggling each day with knowing if my Combat PTSD sufferer is leaving me or just going through a particular rough patch...He refuses to go at this point which is why I decided to go alone.

How do I tell him I am going to therapy without him feeling bad or like he did this to me, and triggering another problem?

I was thinking of going about it by saying that I want to get help for myself so that I can be a better person in this marriage.

Any suggestions? OR do I tell him at all? I don't hide anything from him...which is exactly what caused our most recent rash of issues. I tell him everything about me and my feelings, so it is out of character for me to not say anything at all about this. Ah! Advice please!!

 

[amethist]

Hi

Tell him you are going so you can unload with out it causing him any further stress. Also so that you can be a better support for him.

He should except that you need support so you can keep on supporting him.

There is no manual for PTSD, we have to learn as we go.

 

[PeekieBlue]

I agree with Amethist. Tell him the truth.You are also affected by his PTSD and have every right to want to look after your own wellbeing.

Hopefully your husband will understand this.

Good luck.

 

[Whiteoleander555]

This is exactly what I am going through. I know we are at rock bottom and I am absolutely losing my mind. I just posted an intro begging for advice on how to approach him about us going separately. How did your conversation go?

 

[PeekieBlue]

Sadly we are splitting. I have constantly kept boundaries since he moved out but was hoping that perhaps once he had finished therapy we may have been able to retrieve something.

I had an email today saying he is continuing with therapy, he still loves me but he is moving on as its all just too much.

I'm feeling sad but cannot give anymore so will accept it and stay strong and get myself together. That's the hard thing about ptsd. All break ups are sad but it's worse with ptsd as you can still love the person but not the traits the illness brings.

 

[amethist]

Sorry to hear this PeekieBlue.

Take some time to heal your self for now.

 

[PeekieBlue]

Thanks Amethist. That's what I'm going to do. All will be ok in the end. As my mum always says "nobody has died". Helps put things into perspective :-)