Therapy Or No Therapy?

[Allie21]

First I want to say I apologize if this is not the right place to post this. I don't know what to do, I am a 25 year old college student.Three years ago I started having these memories come back to me. These memories were from when I was 5-8. They are spotty and fuzzy so I don't really remember everything that happened. My thing is I don't know if these memories are real or not. I know about false memory syndrome and feel like maybe I just made everything up!
I know I should talk to someone like a therapist but what kind of therapy? I am also nervous to go to therapy, what would I say? They would probably think I'm crazy (this can be debatable haha) or I would be to complicated for them.

Thanks for reading and any advice anyone has!

 

[BlueDream]

I don't think it would hurt to speak with a professional, let them know of your concerns about the false memories and maybe you could sort through them together.

 

[HappyJock]

@Allie21, welcome! I'm sorry that you've had to live with these memories coming back to you for three years. It can be tricky, because our minds, in the event of any trauma, suppress memories until the brain knows it's strong enough to deal with these memories. This may be your brain's way of saying 'remember what happened; soon, you'll remember more.' It can also be our brain's way of saying it needs some resolving.

Therapists would not think you're crazy. On contrary, you are brave and courageous to want to learn more about what's been going on. I suggest CBT or TF-CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy/Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Tell them exactly what you've told us here. Tell them a bit about these memories and how you are unsure of what these memories mean and are unsure of whether or not they are real. They will gladly work through this with you. In fact, you can just print this out and share it with them if verbally expressing things is more difficult for you. Good luck!

 

[Anarchy]

Welcome to the forum!

The evidence that I've read, suggests that trauma memories, even though they're often in fragments, are almost like photos in their accuracy and don't change over periods of tens of years.

The leaders of the "false memory" movement, have a daughter who is one of the top researchers into dissociative amnesia...

The daughter accused them of abuse.

I'm not going to say that false memories can't be laid down, but I am deeply sceptical.

By all means seek out ( and interview) therapists specialising in trauma and I'm guessing from your post here, child sex abuse?

 

[KwanYingirl]

Welcome to the forum. Definitely find a trauma therapist. Your story is similar to the experience of many people. You'll need an ally and guide to help you. No need to feel not worthy of therapy, you most definitely are, and the sooner the better.

 

[ShodokanJenn]

A good therapist can help you figure this out. I supressed a lot of memories. Most of them I have been able to validate, by asking about the non-traumatic portions... for example, I can verify that I started hiding my dirty laundry and washing it myself at age 7. That validates the memory that I have involving a knife and being hurt by my abuser. The laundry thing was me hiding the blood so nobody would find out what happened. It may help you if you are able to verify certain aspects of the memories like that.

 

[Stickler]

False memories? ok...
...one would be more likely to suspect the memories were false if you:

• Got those memories back with strong suggestions from a therapist
• Got them during hypnotherapy, again with leading questions from the therapist
• The memories are NOT accompanied with emotion ( however, this may mean the emotions were dissociated; so with that one, be cautious )
• The memories were NOT accompanied with sensations like numbness, tingling, chills, spaciness, mysterious pain, skin crawling, shivering.
• If you did NOT have PTSD symptoms erupt along with the memories returning; things like general anxiety, panic attacks, sudden unexplainable fears, sudden mood changes like depression or anger.

Please note: lack of accompanying symptoms is not proof.
...however, the fact that you remembered this stuff on your own indicates they are more likely to be real.

I recently remembered being lent to a friend of my dad's...among other people, at this gray house.
I asked my mom about the gray house, and he remembers it well. She and Dad had played cards with the guy and his wife a few times.

Note...I can't remember any faces of these guys. As if I edited that out? So no, it's not perfectly accurate? But the main gist of what happened is probably VERY accurate.

Regarding repression? Here is a study done on it:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7860814

38% of the interviewed women did not apparently remember their documented abuse.

 

[claire east]

First I want to say I apologize if this is not the right place to post this. I don't know what to do, I...

Friend have the same thing she 39 and last year she kept describing things she was see but she wasn't clear on the detail because she had no memory of being under ten years old until last year when she had a car accident and everything came back I had something similar where I blocked mine out for 25 years until I had a routine opportunity that went wrong everything came out find a good pheapist I'm sure you start unravelling things where all hear if ya need to chat

 

[ladee]

I'm pretty sure all of us here are sorry that this is happening to you. We do understand. So Welcome to the forums and we are here for you. Please keep us updated... we care how you are.. and never apologize for asking for help, especially here !! You are not alone.

 

[Allie21]

BlueDream- Thanks for the reply! I know I need to but I am just making up every excuse to not call and make an appointment. I just wish it would go away and I wouldn't have to deal with it.

HappyJock- Thank-you for the reply! It makes since what your saying. I just feel like I am going crazy trying to make sense of it all! I will defiantly look for a therapist who specialized in this. Thanks for the advice.

Anarchy- Thank-you for the reply! That is interesting and would have to say that the memories haven't changed its just more things are coming back to me. Yes you guessed right, by my brother, who is 5 years older than me.

KwanYinggirl- Thank-you for the reply! I am still struggling with my self-worth/esteem and doing things that will help me.

 

[Allie21]

Shodokanjeen- Thanks for the reply! Yes I have tried to do this once about the abuse. I told my mom and step dad when I started to remember things more. My mom had a different version of what happened than I did. That's kind of why I question whether it happened or not. She would have a better memory of that then me. My step-dad wasn't around then but thought my brother was a good person and not bad so it didn't happen. My step-dad was the one who did ask if I had ever been touched inappropriately because of the way I was acting (crying all the time, panick attacks). My mom wanted all five ( her, my step-dad, and my 2 brothers) of us to have a conversation about it so we could talk about it. I would have rather died and just said no and anything I could to end the conversation. I also have asked my brothers about certain things like places we have gone and things that have happened with my mom's ex- boyfriend and ex- husband and they have confirmed what I remember

Claire east- Thank-you for the reply! Thanks I will defiantly keep in contact on here!

ladee- Thank- you for the reply! Thanks I will keep you guys updated. It means a lot that everyone on here cares and is so understanding.

I also think I'm worried that the therapist will report what I tell them. I know they have to keep confidentiality and will not break it, but aren't there certain circumstances where they will break confidentiality? I do not what to ruin anyone's lives and do not want to cause any problems legally.

 

[Ronin]

I'd honestly go more for having help in dealing with what I remember's effect on now functioning. Can figure what of it is real & how exactly did events go when stable with basic functioning & thinking & discerning abilities back.