There dosnt seem to be any end to this

[scotsgirl]

I dont know where to go for help anymore.
My doctor just gives me pills and im on waiting lists for therapy. Have been having to pay for counseling which isnt helping as I have a massive load of trauma to sort thru going right back to when I was seven yrs old.
Im now 36.
Any help much apprieciated

 

[Intrepid]

I've been in therapy for 25 years making making many many mistakes with getting the wrong therapists or thinking I was done. I never new how bad the PTSD really was.

Welcome to the forum! Sorry you're having a hard time now.

 

[darwin]

Well, talk to us then! Even if it's just as a sounding board. Or if you just need to vent.

 

[scotsgirl]

I've been in therapy for 25 years making making many many mistakes with getting the wrong therapists or...

Thankyou Intrepid.
My counsellor is nice but nice isnt going to fix my problem.its like trying to stop a tsunami with a spade and bucket.

There are 4 major crisis events in my life up to now that have never been dealt with.ive just had meds chucked at me.The death of my baby son was the second major trauma I suffered.He passed away in my arms whilst we were travelling by bus.Ive been an utter mess since and have been on and off so many different meds I sometimes wonder if they couldve affected my brain chemistry as im constantly anxious and low.I have good days .I just want to be able to deal with bad days.ive been on seroxat, sertraline, prozac, chlopromazine, quitiapine , diazepam , valium and beta blockers.
Bit tired of being a lab rat with a broken brain.
:(

 

[darwin]

That is a terrible thing to experience. :(

Ugh.. see the meds only ever made things worse for me, I swore them off. Now, I'm not advising and I hope I'm not breaking any forum rules, But, I had to go to cannabis because of no good from pharmacology. Since then I've learned a bit about herbs and it turns out there are a lot of legal herbs that are very beneficial and don't even have a psychoactive component.

Have you tried any self therapies?

 

[scotsgirl]

Thanks Darwin.
I have tried CBT which did work but I ended up back on my ass again.
Ive been anxious and depressed since I was a child.my mums neighbour abused me from age 7 to 9 so anxiety has been kinda hardwired into my system.
I dont like cannabis it makes me very paranoid and brings on my panic attacks.
Ive been thinking about somatic therapy.

 

[darwin]

I'm certainly not trying to talk you into it, but there are different types of cannabis, some cause anxiety, some do the opposite. I've had to learn which strains to avoid, and which are the best for me. I also have to take a certain strain during the day so I can keep getting stuff done, and one at night for sleep.

I haven't looked into somatic therapy at all, you've peaked my interest.

 

[scotsgirl]

Hi Darwin.yes I meet with a lady nextweek who Is hopefully going to start somatic therapy with me.the only downside is its costly and I am a single mum.lol.
Im gonna give it a try though.it sounds interesting.what kinds of things have you tried?

 

[darwin]

@scotsgirl I hear you, money is the reason I haven't tried much. Everything I've done, I've done on my own.

I've done tapping, visualizations, talking it out with somebody willing to listen.

I've done self guided MDMA therapy. It was very very effective, but it was low dose and I only did it twice. I think I need a third session and a strong dose to hit it home, but I don't have a contact to get it anymore and since my ex took off I don't have a person I trust to sit with me and hear me out as I do my self therapy. Not sure when I'll be able to revisit it, sad 'cause I think it's the most effective treatment.

 

[ghotiff]

Is there any particular symptom that you would want to work on. I like the phrase "small enough to manage, big enough to matter".

For example my anxiety is better managed when I regularly take time out for self soothing. It took me a while to work out what is soothing for me, but I now have a list.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have severe anxiety that has been helped a lot by Reiki. For me, my mind and body split up from childhood trauma. Just working on my head wasn't getting me results, but Reiki has helped. I had acupuncture too but it was too expensive. There are members here that know a lot about somatic therapy. I hope they reply. PTSD takes a slow steady treatment. Just keep walking towards the light.

 

[scotsgirl]

Thanks everyone.
I dont have a clue what to what to work on but my anxiety has always heen a major issue. Ill get one horrible fear out of my head then along will come another one literally minutes later to replace it and this goes on for months on end making my depression a nightmare. Round and round in circles.
:(