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Why do I still seem to love & miss my bio father & stepmother, even after the severe abuse they put me through?

AlanTheBlaze

New Here
It's been a year since I moved to a different state to live with my bio mother and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend is now a father figure to me, and I absolutely hate my bio father and his wife for what they did to me and put me through. But I can't help but feel like I still love them... The thought that I will never see them again and they will always hate me hurts when I know that it shouldn't. I understand missing my half-brother (their biological child that I raised from a newborn to two years old and was basically my baby rather than theirs) and my full-brother (older than me by one year and disowned me because he didn't believe me when I told him that our father raped me). But why do I still love the people who hurt me and stole my childhood? I really need to understand this to move on and heal, and I'm not sure how to. If anyone has any ideas that might help, please please please tell me. I would appreciate it greatly. Thank you.
 
Love is powerful & complicated.
So is hate.
Only indifference is simple.

You don’t have to forgive someone to miss them, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to love someone that you hate.
 
Love is powerful & complicated.
So is hate.
Only indifference is simple.

You don’t have to forgive someone to miss them, and you don’t need anyone’s permission to love someone that you hate.
In the most confusing way, this makes perfect sense. Thank you very much for your input, I greatly appreciate it
 
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