Relationship There Is Hope

[Nicolette]

For all the pain and heartache I read here from Carers I would like to remind you there is hope......

Anthony and I have been together for 2 and a half years approx and he has got better and better with his PTSD. Yes there are moments but generally he is well and we get on fabulously.

The key is we both work at it - he wants to be as well as possible and I also want him to be well. He has learned how to manage his PTSD and I have learned how to support him without enabling him.

There is much to be learned here and I know some people don't like what is written but if you do take on advice from those with experience and knowledge there is the potential to have a great relationship if your Sufferer meets you on the other half of the way.

I am also impressed that there are some members here who no longer have relationships with PTSD Sufferers and gladly share their experience and knowledge for the benefit of those struggling. Sometimes the greatest lessons learned are those from our mistakes.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope Carers read and learn and even if you don't like what is said to you (sometimes the truth hurts) at least give it some consideration as it may make things better for you.

 

[desperate]

Thanks. Your post made me cry, but it helped.

 

[jods]

I agree Nicolette.

Hubby & I are coming up for 4yrs of PTSD in Oct. I know everyone's situation is different & sometimes the relationships work or crumble as a result of the illness.

At the end of the day that is the one thing I have to remember is that this is an illness. It just makes it difficult because we don't see the "injury" & we can't read minds to see or feel what they go through on a daily basis.

The main thing I have learned is to be open minded & to be willing to change things in
your life so you can try to improve the environment you live in.

I love my hubby enough to know that any day above ground with him in my life is better than not having him here with us at all. He is worth me embracing new ideas to help us have a life together & I hope it has also made me a better person.

 

[georgie1668]

Hi Nicolette

Thanks for your post and good to remind people of the positive things in all our lives. I posted here a while ago to say that it was over between myself and my man who suffers from PTSD. Well this is a message to follow up on that. After we 'split' up, we entered a new phase where we are continuing to see each other on a casual basis. It took a lot of learning and understanding for me to be able to reach this stage, but I realised that I did not want to be without this man's friendship and intimacy. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, where I finally understand (obviously not everything) where he is coming from and what he has been going through from his end. This has been obtained at my end through reading some great books and going to my counsellor to sort out where I stand in all this.

I just want to say that it has made a huge difference to both of us to have taken the pressure and expectations off of each other and to just enjoy each other. I feel that it is like this amazing breakthrough but it is just a small step on the road to healing for him. I still love this man and I am pretty sure he has feelings for me, so to continue to see each other is a real blessing.

I guess the purpose of this letter is to share my experiences with the view to saying that our relationships are not straightforward, but with time, understanding and love, something is possible. We don't have to have everything and I am only realising this now. He is slowly on the path to recovery although he doesn't see it - I can see it - and I really feel that my support is helping him - it has been a very slow road for him to see this, but things are continued to be shared between us. It is like the slow unfurling of a flower's petals - soppy I know but how I feel.

All of those who have experienced setbacks in your relationships, please remember it is so personal, so individual and doesn't have to be dictated to by convention, by ourselves or others.

Take care and love to everyone - good luck.

x Georgie