Cypress
Confident
I'm not sure if this is the right prefix. If not, maybe one of the mods can make a change.
I am a civilian working in an operational environment for the next year. My original trauma had nothing to do with combat and I am not a veteran. I do have decades of civilian emergency medicine under my belt and don't seem to have PTSD from that, but who knows. Anyway, I worked on/off in this type of setting before I went into therapy for PTSD and thought I did OK.
Well now that I am back in theatre and trying to continue treatment with tele-therapy, the PTSD triggering is 10x worse. There have been a couple of IEDs and some small arms fire recently and each time it sent me into a completely numbed out state which was followed by such an intense adrenalin rush I vomited. Now every time I hear a helicopter overhead my heart pounds - which is bad because this happens multiple times a day/night.
As long as I am at work I am fine, but when I come back to my room I fall apart and secretly drink. I am going to the gym, eating right, playing board games with my colleagues so I'm not sure what else I can do on the self-care end. I can't take sleep medication because I have to be able to react at night.
My therapist is a pdoc and he is recommending propranolol which I started yesterday.
Not sure what else I can do besides quit this job which at this point is not an option for many financial and logistical reasons related to my divorce. My T thinks I should cut the contract short and get out as soon as I can even if that leaves the people here short-handed. I am hoping that I will adjust with time.
Any advice for getting through this from the vets out there?
I am a civilian working in an operational environment for the next year. My original trauma had nothing to do with combat and I am not a veteran. I do have decades of civilian emergency medicine under my belt and don't seem to have PTSD from that, but who knows. Anyway, I worked on/off in this type of setting before I went into therapy for PTSD and thought I did OK.
Well now that I am back in theatre and trying to continue treatment with tele-therapy, the PTSD triggering is 10x worse. There have been a couple of IEDs and some small arms fire recently and each time it sent me into a completely numbed out state which was followed by such an intense adrenalin rush I vomited. Now every time I hear a helicopter overhead my heart pounds - which is bad because this happens multiple times a day/night.
As long as I am at work I am fine, but when I come back to my room I fall apart and secretly drink. I am going to the gym, eating right, playing board games with my colleagues so I'm not sure what else I can do on the self-care end. I can't take sleep medication because I have to be able to react at night.
My therapist is a pdoc and he is recommending propranolol which I started yesterday.
Not sure what else I can do besides quit this job which at this point is not an option for many financial and logistical reasons related to my divorce. My T thinks I should cut the contract short and get out as soon as I can even if that leaves the people here short-handed. I am hoping that I will adjust with time.
Any advice for getting through this from the vets out there?