First off. Keep writing, keep talking. A lot of people here have validated you, which you desperately need in this journey. Secondly there were times in reading this that I felt like you were talking about my daughter. She is 22, has autism. When she is anywhere in her menstrual cycle our conversations sound the same as what you describe here. Her brain that is already a little muddled with anxiety and social misunderstandings becomes ten times more hostile aggressive and seeing things that are not there. I call them the things she has never understood in her calm moments. She accuses me of saying things I did not say, concludes things from my body language and tone that are inaccurate and this sets her off into tirades that I try to correct. Like no, I’m not angry I’m raising my voice to be firm or whatever.
The escalation is always zero to sixty and I get lost in the conversation faster than she does. It never ends well and I go away wondering what just happened. I’ve learned that some things are best kept to myself. I’d say the same to you or now that you have told her about this group and therapy that you now need to set a boundary of off limits for attack and remind her every time she brings it up. Otherwise it makes you second guess if not now eventually. If you are doing a phone call, which I thought it sounded like you were saying at one point, then have a word search handy and do that while you listen and direct a few short phrases her way.that are cooling sticks. These types of conversations are fire meets fire and I’ve learned that less is best and to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible because I have a fairly good run with less, but eventually I explode into what she was aiming for in the first place, to prove I am mad by provokingme to anger?
The escalation is always zero to sixty and I get lost in the conversation faster than she does. It never ends well and I go away wondering what just happened. I’ve learned that some things are best kept to myself. I’d say the same to you or now that you have told her about this group and therapy that you now need to set a boundary of off limits for attack and remind her every time she brings it up. Otherwise it makes you second guess if not now eventually. If you are doing a phone call, which I thought it sounded like you were saying at one point, then have a word search handy and do that while you listen and direct a few short phrases her way.that are cooling sticks. These types of conversations are fire meets fire and I’ve learned that less is best and to get out of the conversation as quickly as possible because I have a fairly good run with less, but eventually I explode into what she was aiming for in the first place, to prove I am mad by provokingme to anger?