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This is bad

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Punky143

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Off the rocker. My angry parts are mean and feel dangerous. The trial. I'm testifying as well as my child. I'm only doing this for my child. No where can I fathom seeing the less than human thing who caused harm to so many people. But its so much more. Layers and layers of past history buried. My parts are a mess in their own ways. Because of that, my T and I never discussed how to prepare. I'm sworn to secrecy during so no one to talk. Or, being ignored when the topic comes up or having no ability to relate leaves me in such pain. My heart aches for my child and my hope is that I'm caught up in my crap that I put more into the picture then my child can relate. In no way am I intending to lessen her pain either. And I don't see my T till Monday....
 
Any smoother sailing today?

My worst fear is that my kidnapper will finally get arrested (long story) and I'll have to speak out in court... I understand how much it messes with you as a fear, but haven't had it become reality. It must be so hard
 
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