pursuitofahappyheart
New Here
Hi everyone,
I made the decision to sign up pretty quickly. I am struggling quite a bit with life at the moment with limited support, and I found myself googling for advice. That's where I found this forum, and spent ages reading posts and realised I could do with some specific advice.
A bit of background... I'm 24 and living in Perth, Australia. I was born in the UK and moved here 10 years ago with my family. Since my early teens, I have always had bouts of depression and anxiety. I mainly internalised it all, occasionally talking to friends, but mostly coping with self harm and later, alcohol abuse. I just ignored and pretended for many years.
Around 20 years old I decided that I needed help with my behaviours and went to my GP who put me straight on anti depressants. I was reluctant to try therapy because I was still in a bit of denial.
Anyway, to fast forward a bit... In May of this year I finally worked up the courage/desperation to start seeing a psychologist. She is amazing, and in one way it is the best thing I have every done, but it is so incredibly hard and consuming which I'm sure many people here can understand.
I was originally going to therapy for severe depression and anxiety, and started the beginning of CBT therapy. I had about 6 sessions and then experienced something of a secondary trauma in my life (did not realise this at the time), which triggered a LOT of disturbing memories about my childhood which until then, I had completely removed myself from. Luckily, my therapist is trained in trauma therapy too.
I have not been able to say this out loud to my therapist yet, we have only discussed the surrounding details and she has a good idea of what I experienced but is treading carefully. From ages 7-9 I was sexually abused by my nan's partner. That is the first time I have written it actually. I never ever told a soul about this happening, and my mind has never processed the trauma. In fact, I am amazed at it's ability to protect... I functioned relatively well growing up, considering. I feel relieved that I now have an awareness of the source of my depression and anxiety.
I'm obviously new to this, and I'm not knowledgeable in this area at all but from what I have read I have clearly been experiencing PTSD symptoms of panic attacks, dissociation and flashbacks. So I'm here to learn more about how to manage this all, and really so I can not feel so isolated. I don't know how much detail to go into in this thread, but I feel that I have not been able to be honest with myself, but that I need to be. I'm open to questions, comments and suggestions.
Lisa x
I made the decision to sign up pretty quickly. I am struggling quite a bit with life at the moment with limited support, and I found myself googling for advice. That's where I found this forum, and spent ages reading posts and realised I could do with some specific advice.
A bit of background... I'm 24 and living in Perth, Australia. I was born in the UK and moved here 10 years ago with my family. Since my early teens, I have always had bouts of depression and anxiety. I mainly internalised it all, occasionally talking to friends, but mostly coping with self harm and later, alcohol abuse. I just ignored and pretended for many years.
Around 20 years old I decided that I needed help with my behaviours and went to my GP who put me straight on anti depressants. I was reluctant to try therapy because I was still in a bit of denial.
Anyway, to fast forward a bit... In May of this year I finally worked up the courage/desperation to start seeing a psychologist. She is amazing, and in one way it is the best thing I have every done, but it is so incredibly hard and consuming which I'm sure many people here can understand.
I was originally going to therapy for severe depression and anxiety, and started the beginning of CBT therapy. I had about 6 sessions and then experienced something of a secondary trauma in my life (did not realise this at the time), which triggered a LOT of disturbing memories about my childhood which until then, I had completely removed myself from. Luckily, my therapist is trained in trauma therapy too.
I have not been able to say this out loud to my therapist yet, we have only discussed the surrounding details and she has a good idea of what I experienced but is treading carefully. From ages 7-9 I was sexually abused by my nan's partner. That is the first time I have written it actually. I never ever told a soul about this happening, and my mind has never processed the trauma. In fact, I am amazed at it's ability to protect... I functioned relatively well growing up, considering. I feel relieved that I now have an awareness of the source of my depression and anxiety.
I'm obviously new to this, and I'm not knowledgeable in this area at all but from what I have read I have clearly been experiencing PTSD symptoms of panic attacks, dissociation and flashbacks. So I'm here to learn more about how to manage this all, and really so I can not feel so isolated. I don't know how much detail to go into in this thread, but I feel that I have not been able to be honest with myself, but that I need to be. I'm open to questions, comments and suggestions.
Lisa x
