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- #13
FattyZ, I'm sorry I haven't been on here lately. We had to move and it's been horrible.
I freaked out when the suggestion of Xanax was made to me but it has definitely helped me 'stay in my skin'. I don't always know why the panic or anxiety sets in either. I have some imagery that I use, most of it coming from the best relief I have found - the Buddhist center. It's not for everyone, but it has really helped with my anger and blaming, through several different angles. There are classes at the center that are for beginners that do not contain ritual but do teach breathing, meditation and basic principles of wisdom and compassion. I will never forget the day during a retreat when I got a teaching that was really hard for me. My mother was psychotic with rage issues. I hated her and damn near left in high school when a good friend's mother okay'd me moving in with them. Anyway, the basis for the teaching is reincarnation (that's hard for a lot of people) in that due to all of our previous lives every sentient being has been our mother and us their's at some point. So even though my childhood was rough and scary, she wasn't my only mother. :) It really helped me to let go. I still have issues but it's much easier to deal with her now. Carl Jung clued into dharma towards the end of his life. He said something to the effect of 'There is no reason to study the mind. The Buddhist have it figured out and cannot be mastered but through these methods'. I'm really paraphrasing but that's the jist of it. I hope that a religious angle (I consider it a philosophy) isn't out of line. Exercise is supposed to be clearing, get the junk (neuro chemicals) out of your blood.
I still haven't figured out why people that know me well say I beat myself up. There's a lot I have to work on.
Take care,
K
I freaked out when the suggestion of Xanax was made to me but it has definitely helped me 'stay in my skin'. I don't always know why the panic or anxiety sets in either. I have some imagery that I use, most of it coming from the best relief I have found - the Buddhist center. It's not for everyone, but it has really helped with my anger and blaming, through several different angles. There are classes at the center that are for beginners that do not contain ritual but do teach breathing, meditation and basic principles of wisdom and compassion. I will never forget the day during a retreat when I got a teaching that was really hard for me. My mother was psychotic with rage issues. I hated her and damn near left in high school when a good friend's mother okay'd me moving in with them. Anyway, the basis for the teaching is reincarnation (that's hard for a lot of people) in that due to all of our previous lives every sentient being has been our mother and us their's at some point. So even though my childhood was rough and scary, she wasn't my only mother. :) It really helped me to let go. I still have issues but it's much easier to deal with her now. Carl Jung clued into dharma towards the end of his life. He said something to the effect of 'There is no reason to study the mind. The Buddhist have it figured out and cannot be mastered but through these methods'. I'm really paraphrasing but that's the jist of it. I hope that a religious angle (I consider it a philosophy) isn't out of line. Exercise is supposed to be clearing, get the junk (neuro chemicals) out of your blood.
I still haven't figured out why people that know me well say I beat myself up. There's a lot I have to work on.
Take care,
K
