DID Thought i was cptsd and could not get better .... new diagnosis did

[WhisperingUnicorn]

Thank you for the reply @shiraz .. VERY good, very helpful :inlove:

I want to dig into this deeper with you if and when you're interested/willing. I have loved MANY of your posts on this site - you're insightful and articulate! I tried to PM you, but I'm guessing the privacy settings prevent. Please feel free to initiate a PM to me if you like - that is, if this isn't just a site glitch!

I have more I can add to the above - though I am at work, at present, so not as much time to write, this minute. Please feel free to reply in more detail with ANYTHING you like!

~S2B

 

[shiraz]

ok, thanks for letting me know, I just changed my privacy settings ... should be open now.

 

[Chava]

So glad you have found the right path for you!

I am co-conscious with all my personas which I why I never once thought I was DID ... to have DID one should lose time right? Not right? I don't lose time, I never have, but I am DID.

This is very interesting and I'm sure many of us here have similar experiences. I've wondered myself about the co-conscious part. I am co-conscious but definitely have childish mannerisms when triggered. There is an immobilized infant who can only be soothed through sound, an angry 4-5 year old who is very good at drawing but only wants to scribble and wreck stuff, etc. No separate names, no feeling of being separate from "me"...just an aspect of my personality, which feels complex and in many pieces at times, even if somehow all connected to "me."

Maybe someone could diagnose me with DID, but for me the complex trauma (including lens of developmental trauma) diagnosis does feel like my path, because what I most need to work on is feeling connected within myself and to others, and like I am real and so are others. Attachment trauma stuff, protective responses to longterm terrorizing and abuse coloring my adult isolation, various shades of depersonalization and derealization.... General lack of connectivity with others. But maybe some of these parts conflicting in ways that don't allow me to connect to others, so it's interesting how you describe your conflicts around this. My hand shakes in therapy (body-focused trauma therapy) because I'm torn between wanting to push away, pull my hand in and protect myself, and reach out and connect. This is the situation of my whole being around others. It's exhausting. But I probably don't feel the same degree of separate personas as you do. But I certainly relate to conflicts between impulses and self-protective needs...and getting different moments in time glued onto my present.

It certainly gets complicated with complex trauma no matter what. I'm glad you have your DID diagnosis and a therapist you trust. I think having a framework that makes sense and a therapist you trust is the main thing. Even if it's all really hard, that in itself provide a lot of hope!!

 

[shiraz]

Hi Chava, I found your ideas around complex trauma very interesting. I think cPTSD survivors all have a level of dissociation to some degree - it comes with the territory ... mine is just further along the scale. I am glad you have found your path in healing ... that is the most important thing. I wish you well!

 

[Milo's papa]

According to my wife's T, DID and cPTSD often go together when multiple severe traumas are involved. My wife had a 7 different "personas", (we named them parts) that would come out. Sometimes one would of her others actually try to get her to seriously hurt herself, (as a result of specific programing that she was subjected to). It took almost 4 years of 5 days a week therapy to reintegrate the different parts. Now even though she still has DID she has been able to work with her different parts and can concentrate more on her cPTSD full time.
I guess my point is, hang in there, it will get better over time.

 

[shiraz]

It is so good to hear that your wife was able to find the help she needed, it sounds like she worked really hard and is reaping the benefits :) I am happy for both of you ... it is not easy supporting a DID partner ... she is a lucky woman!

Thank you for the support ... it has been two years since the system revealed itself and things are getting easier. :)