Through A Warrior's Eyes

[Sleeping Dragon]

After reading the comments in "Hidden Lies" several times I finally figured out what's been stuck in my mind (at my age it sometimes takes a while). Any time we look at the world through warrior's eyes we're gonna see huge piles of crap, drivel and nonsense. Warriors don't care much about what's on Facebook.

But warrior's eyes miss too many things that can bring peace and relaxation, things we consider a threat to security. I will never give up my perspective through these old warrior's eyes because I'll never trust this world again.

However, I must now live in a civilian world where my warrior's eyes can get in the way. So, I look at it as gathering intel.

While in Vietnam I was an artillery section leader attached to an infantry company. I spent huge amounts of time studying maps and the area around me. I watched the locals closely and looked for any signs of changes in behavure. I did this because I needed information on the world around me.

Even though the civilian world is different, I still need intel. But, to get it I have the change my perspective. I take time for what these old eyes consider crap, drivel and nonsense because those things are important to those I care about.

I have to train my eyes to include all that's necessary to live in this world. I struggle with this each and every day.

SD

 

[JennyMac]

Well said, for me I struggle with turning off the high alert mode, it happens in the blink of an eye. Too many little brown guys in the store, why is that guy wearing so many clothes in this heat..etc etc. I am always looking for the bad guy in crowds, I get overwhelmed with the search and panic sets in. Loud sounds, I can't pick out the threat..it freaks me out. Its perhaps one of my bigger struggles.

 

[JarHed]

I'm there also. I think it's once learned can't really be unlearned. I'll always have a heightened sense of alertness. I've learned to be more relaxed about it, which enables me to more accurately assess the threat response. Night time is the worse for me. even as bad as my hearing is I can still hear rustling in the bushes outside or someone walking blocks away.

I find it interesting how being so indoctrinated into a way of life that usually lasted only a few years that we carry these ways about us for life. It's the learning to live with it thing that's the worse for me. I just do my best.

 

[Sarg]

My therapist (oddly) asked why I had an "exaggerated startle response", never liked that phrase as it sounds like we are trying to over react, I explained that I was hauling cargo before I went up on the "trail". We had G**ks on the plane, had to completely inspect the cargo compartment for booby traps, we never knew if as we lifted a rail cover, it had a trip wire to it.

I went to Saigon a few times and knew the extreme discomfort of being among a sea of faces. You learned to check under tables a lot. Clubs were always getting blown out onto the street. Christ, you even had to be cautious with Zippo lighters as rumor was they were filling them with enough plastique to blow off a hand.

When I escaped to the trail, you didn't hear the shells burst, until they blew off a wing. You didn't suffer that much, you just didn't come back...for forty years and only then in tiny bone shards. So, a loud noise on a 130 would send a heart pounding to break out of your chest.

So yeah, I hate crowds. Sit with my back against the wall. Head for the floorboards after a loud noise.

Next question?

Sarg

 

[Spock]

However, I must now live in a civilian world where my warrior's eyes can get in the way. So, I look at it as gathering intel.

Ditto: always gathering or looking for Intel, it was a great learned skill but sometimes can be bothersome, like most anything else

...I struggle with turning off the high alert mode, it happens in the blink of an eye....

Ditto: in Trauma Recovery we learned, due to our empowered lizard brain, we spin up higher and faster than before combat; tough one to cope with.

My therapist (oddly) asked why I had an "exaggerated startle response", ...So, a loud noise on a 130 would send a heart pounding to break out of your chest...

That is an odd question I agree. I can't pinpoint the explain well. I can speculate about rocket attacks and mTBI but it was the first obvious sign that something had changed in me

I'm there also. I think it's once learned can't really be unlearned. I'll always have a heightened sense of alertness. I've learned to be more relaxed about it, which enables me to more accurately assess the threat response. ...I find it interesting how being so indoctrinated into a way of life that usually lasted only a few years that we carry these ways about us for life. It's the learning to live with it thing that's the worse for me. I just do my best.

I like that explanation. I feel this one sticking around harder and longer than the rest. It feels more dug in...

 

[Sleeping Dragon]

For a time I believed I was smart enough to get over post traumatic stress. All I had to do was figure it out. Hell, I'm a smart guy. I wrote a book, produced a movie, graduated at the top of my class and had two successful careers.

But, I'm not smart. The smart guys didn't get PTS in the first place. They stayed home and ordered others to kill, bleed and die while they made fortunes off the effort and sacrifice of others. Washington and Wall Street are filled with them.

Honor gets in the way of being smart. Pride gets in the way of taking the easy route. And dignity gets in the way of taking advantage of those with honor and pride.

So, I'll keep my PTS cause there is no cure, and figuring it out doesn't make it go away. And, for all the "smart" guys who read this: please take a moment to bend over and KISS MY ENTIRE ASS.

SD