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fuzzypenguin

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(Some may think I'm just overreacting so call it as you wish, but this is truly really bad.)

Currently having a mental breakdown because my life is ruined. It has been ruined. I am so tired of explaining the past and having it come back to haunt me. I never asked for it (the rape) to happen. I never asked for any of it. I'm so done...I'm so tired of it all.
 
(Some may think I'm just overreacting so call it as you wish, but this is truly really bad.)

Curre...

Some things to try during what sounds like a real crisis.

If you have a t, call. If you have a crisis line available, call.
Try this for a few minutes. Every phrase your brain spits out, add 'for now' at the end of it. Example: I'm so done. . .for now. I'm so tired of it all. . .for now.
May sound weird, but put your face in cold water. . .as cold as possible, preferable icy water.
 
I know how you feel and I'm sure a lot of members here do too. I think that what you wrote could probably be an opening to welcome to PTSD. Nobody wants what happened to them. PTSD sucks cuz the symptoms are overwhelming and it makes you want to be done with things. The forum is here for you! I know for me that it was really bad before it got better for years and now I'm rally bad again. Oh well. sometimes focusing on one problem at a time helps when I get overwhelmed and trying to find a solution or a plan to work on that problem. Sometimes I have found that I have used suicidal thinking as a coping mechanism. Once I realize that I am using suicidal thinking I say oh I'm being that way which means I'm not coping well. Either I'm just moody and tomorrow will be better or I need to go to sleep to try to help my coping cuz sleep problems seem to fan the PTSD flames like oxygen to a fire. Sometimes my friends rescue me and say hey lets go do something to get your mind off stuff; that gives me a new lease on life sometimes even though initially I don't feel like going. Anyways we care here!!! You are not alone !!!! Call on your resources if you can; friends, family, forum, therapist, other groups, and remember who you are aside from the PTSD and your favorite things about yourself; likes, hobbies and focus on that. There's crisis lines like Zef stated above. Hang In there fuzzy if you can! Hugs to you if you accept and prayers too!!!
 
Currently having a mental breakdown because my life is ruined. It has been ruined. I am so tired of explaining the past and having it come back to haunt me.
Can't tell you how many times I have been here and wanted to give it all up. I hear you..... and so sorry you are in this state at this time.
 
The advice about adding "for now" at the end of the statements is excellent. I'm going to try and use that.

When I was in outpatient at the hospital they would have us mentally say the word STOP and then mentally say something positive to ourselves. It was very awkward and felt fake at first but it eventually got easier and I stopped constantly berating myself. I should start doing that again.

Trick for me was to say something real. Not "I love myself." I wasn't feeling like that. So i'd say, "I'm CAPABLE of loving myself." Or instead of "this is never going to end," say "I have survived this far, I am strong." Just things like that.

You wouldn't believe the weight off your shoulders when you stop verbally abusing yourself.

PTSD sufferers are some of the strongest people I know. You are strong. You are tough. You are capable. These are things I know are true because you've made it this far.
 
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