Time Bomb

[Deleted member 1860]

You don't sound like a partner. You sound like a care taker. The relationship sounds incredibly unbalanced. I remember you saying in the past that B can't handle money in the least and doesn't have credit cards. Why can't he hand over his paycheck to you? He blows through all his money, so I'm guessing you pay for everything, including his dog, right? I totally get it, you love this guy, but at the end of the day, love is never enough.

 

[The Albatross]

Relationship is difficult enough to "do" without each having their own mental diagnosis's/issues, compounded by a recent suicide. However, when he accepted the responsibility for another living thing, I know I would not be able to turn a blind eye either. He participates as a partner, or he chooses to live as an individual... that's the nutshell dynamic that happens around here. It is an irony to me that in my marriage "I am the damaged" one... yet I rein in my spouse's financial issues and avoidance, and stuff time and time again.

I guess I focus on his decision not to contribute to the household aspect as well as treating the dog like an object rather than a living thing that requires time and attention and care that I find the red flags on.