Too exhausted to keep fighting

[Gs172003]

thanks joey.

i just dont have it in me anymore. your right it is a choice.

thank you.

You know what buddy? I have been where you are. I have also lost a loved one to his own hand. I don't know what answers you need to hear but know this. Losing a loved one to suicide is something you never truly get over. It's been over two years for me and it still is hard. If you can't fight fir yourself fight for someone else. You can do this.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Please choose life, You are so worth it.:hug:

 

[AJ45]

kind of.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

You are just buried under a mountain of lies right now

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

((( @AJ45 )))
May I give you some hugs? :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
I also know what you are feeling! SO many times I have wanted out. Just out. BUT, really it IS about us wanting to be free of our inner pain! I am SURE that there is at least one person in your real life whose heart would be devastated if you opted to leave their lives. It would RUIN EVERY good memory they have of you, and EVERYONE who knows you would wonder what signs they missed and wonder if they could have stopped you. EVERYONE! Even people that you don't realize care as much as they do will have deep, DEEP heartache that would NEVER go away.
The people here on the Forum REALLY care about you even though we don't KNOW you YET! Maybe you can give some time to reading about how people struggle with what you are feeling, and how they are coping ONE DAY AT A TIME. Sometimes it is one MINUTE at a time.
You do NOT deserve to feel the way you do! NOT AT ALL!!! And it is NOT a PERMANENT feeling! You CAN get better!
:hug::hug::hug:

 

[shatter eyes]

Me grasshopper tell big bird i cannot fly to crops. I busted all my chops. Drank all the hops in the scotch. Tired fighting the wind. Wind stronger day after day. Even night time wind blow me back. Starving weak and alone. No grasshopper but me. Big bird please eat me. My life i give to you. I am tired fighting. Big bird tell grasshoppers have flown high and flown low. Some fast some slow. Some weak some too strong freak allday allnight long. Your death wish is noble to me. Look behind the many more grasshoppers you see.
Big bird here keep you safe. You can rest in thy tree. When you wake the grasshoppers behind will arrive and you will fly forward stronger in support as we. Me grasshopper accept to rest. I will wake and fly strong towards the wild wild west!!

The End

(Short story dedicated to AJ45)

 

[AJ45]

thank you for al lthe kind words, i figured i would try going to GP it didnt go so well i couldnt be 100% honest. she prescribed some meds, but i just dont have time. suicide is rapidly approaching i dont hae to time to hang on for meds....

 

[digger]

suicide is rapidly approaching i dont hae to time to hang on for meds....

Because they take a while to start having an effect do you mean? Were you able to tell your GP that you've been feeling suicidal?

 

[AJ45]

yes. eh not so much. :/

 

[Gs172003]

yes. eh not so much. :/

What can we do for you? What do you need?

 

[Supervixn]

You're a fighter, a warrior. You didn't choose this battle but you have to choose to fight. Better days, better moments will come. Bad days, worse moments will come too.

Find good reasons to stay, write them down, recite them, remember them. You were given life and are worthy of life. Pain doesn't give any of us a break.

Find a purpose to deeply believe in. I believe we have a responsibility to the world; we have higher purpose that we will never fully realize on this physical plane. Fight defeat with faith. Keep fighting. The world is full of lies and constantly feeds them to us to hinder our purpose and steal our joy. And there's more to this life than what we can see with our eyes.

You live to fight another day... count it as a victory, no matter how sad and defeated you feel, you have inner power that you need to learn to recognize and encourage.

Pain spares none of us. You're a warrior! Never forget the power and purpose that you have.

Oh, and most importantly:

YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!

 

[AJ45]

What can we do for you? What do you need?

Oh i wish a knew. i wish it wasnt so hard and exhausting to fight. it shouldnt be this hard to be safe and ok.