Too Many Triggers In Too Short A Time

[Sad Nicola]

Gahh. Triggers. There have been so many in the last two weeks.

Visits to family
Detraumatisation therapy
Mad letters and calls from violent and unpredictable birth-son
Back to back medical appointments:
Dental treatment
Being told I am asthmatic
Optometrist finding a 'bar of opaque tissue'' in front of my left pupil
Gynae exam found that I have no hormones left since chemo and that is causing me problems
Bad time of year for me re anniversary events.

And I have to see the psychiatrist tomorrow. I hate that. Two weeks ago I was doing fine, feeling good, thinking about and planning for Christmas, controlling my drinking and smoking. I was making some progress at work too, getting some decent work out.

Now I'm dreading the upcoming festive season, wondering how I can get out of all the social events that are lined up, drinking hard again. Trying not to smoke because of the asthma but not managing. The self-destructive urges are creeping back, although I'm just feeling guilty about them and haven't quite got to the 'don't care' stage.

Think I'm going to have to learn to spread the events that trigger me out somewhat, although with the medical stuff on the NHS you don't get a lot of choice appointment-wise.

Any advice anyone? - feeling overwhelmed.

Nicola

 

[Leda]

I do undestand that this must be overwhelming with so much happening - but maybe you have answered your question yourself? - Spreading events is what works for me - and always keep one "empty" day every week. - Well - I did not make it this week, so I`m paying for it now. :oops:

Hope next week will be better - for you and me
Anne

 

[anthony]

I have moved this thread from CPTSD, as this thread is about triggers, which is due to panic, anxiety, etc, not CPTSD. The CPTSD forum is for the discussion of CPTSD itself, not for those with CPTSD to discuss anything.

 

[Sad Nicola]

Hi

Yes, I'm sure you're correct about the spreading of known trigger events, I have been working on that lately and it seems to work effectively.

The trouble is that I keep thinking that I'm 'better'. But then it is so shocking that I go from normal to absolutely not normal in such a short space of time. And sometimes I can't even see what the trigger was - it is so frustrating at times.

Thanks for your input
Nicola

 

[ellokitty]

I feel the same way. I've had so many triggers in the past week or so, and I've somehow managed to funnel it into one part of my life - my love life. I feel miserable! The guy I like must think I'm mental or something, I can't stand it. :( I normally can function without it getting like this but somehow he's had to see this and I feel like I'm gonna make him run away.

I can't sleep, I've had some panic attacks and I just don't know how to release. I can cope a bit here and there, but I somehow manage to do something ridiculous, and in the past week, he's had to see it three times. Ugh.

Just want all this to stop.

 

[WantToGetBetter]

Hi Nicola,

This sounds all too familiar. Are you a Hypochondriac like myself?

I have been in an traumatic car accident recently, and have been a full-blown hypochondriac since my cousin died of cancer at age 27 (7 weeks after diagnosis, recently married, had a child). Any ailment leads back to cancer and causes me debilitating anxiety.

I do not know how to deal with this. I am Polish, and as you know, Poles are natural hypochondriacs. But my cousin literally did die of stomach cancer. It is terrible.

The stress unleashes my PTSD, and the Hypo causes me anxiety which stresses me out. It's a vicious cycle.

 

[AdamAnt]

I did not know that Poles are natural hypochondriacs...is this so?

 

[patrick]

I have emphysema from 45 years of self abusive behavior and have to use this stupid inhaler when I get short of breath. Using it triggers me, sometimes more than others. I tell myself, "You've destroyed your body, Pat. You might as well just smoke and drink and get this life over with sooner rather than later."

Also, I live on my boat very near a log sorting yard. Big logs coming in on trucks and going out on ships. Logs being dropped on the ground sometimes remind me of the whump whump of artillery shells in the distance. Can trigger the hell out of me, especially when it wakes me up at night. Right now the ground is hard from the cold, so it's worse than usual. As I sit here I can actually feel the vibrations. One thing that helps is to just get out of my isolation and walk over to the yard to watch the logs being dropped. Maybe I should just move, but I can't afford to live ashore and keep my boat, too, and this is the only marina in town.

Triggers is triggers is triggers. Much harder to cope with during my low times than when I'm feeling a little stronger. Gotta try to remember to use the coping strategies I've learned in treatment before a spiral too low.

 

[Sad Nicola]

This sounds all too familiar. Are you a Hypochondriac like myself?

Up to 3 years ago I was a fairly normal Doctor-dodger. Then I became ill with a series of scary symptoms - vertigo, faintness, couldn't walk straight, bangs in the head, migraines, permanent nausea, neck tremor. I couldn't get the medics to do much about it - all the tests they did showed normal. I was terrified - thought I was going to die because nobody would take it seriously. This went on for about 6 months with some better periods. Then they picked up a lump in my breast on a routine scan - it turned out to be cancer.

So, yes, I am now a complete raving hypochondriac. I don't trust the medical profession at all and I have a real sense of a foreshortened future. I still have weird unexplained symptoms but anything I complain about now is dismissed as anxiety.

Did you ever see 'Gaslight' where a man tries to drive his wife mad by making her doubt her own perceptions? That's how I feel. I know exactly what you mean about the vicious cycle - anything medical will trigger me - yet I am driven to the Doctor's time after time because I get so freaked-out by the symptoms.

I get by these days by reminding myself that we are all dying of something at some speed or other, so I might as well try to get on and enjoy life while I can. It sometimes works.

Nicola