Too Old And Terrified Of Taking Classes

[Iamsensative]

Hi all, Maybe someone will understand. I left school after 10th grade. Lots of horrible reasons why. But i have managed over the yrs to have a pretty successful career. I have a new good job with a very good company. They never higher people without degrees and i got support from Director and VP. I had to jump through hoops, interview all the way up to the VP of HR. Well they highered me, i had more than proved myself, but i need to show them that i am committed to going to school. Thinking about it sends me into a shame spiral, what ifs i am really stupid, what if i cant handle with work. They run a college in the company, but i am petrified that it will get back to HR or my boss that i am not capable. I freeze at even the thought.

 

[The Albatross]

What if you flip it on it's ear and you do what you did at the time prior to being hired, "I had to jump through hoops, interview all the way up to the VP of HR. Well they highered me, i had more than proved myself" ???

The experience you have had can be a strength and motivator but it is also an example that you can use to quell the stress/anxiety/fear because you stuck with it and you were awarded a position above your education level. Now all that remains, is following through on the commitment you already made and bringing your education up to speed.

Counter balance the shame spiral with what you've already achieved?

 

[Netsy]

Firstly I absolutely love your profile image of the hamster with the sunnies. That shows that you have a wonderful spirit of fun and full of energy and you obviously have done well to get where you are today in your life. Dont make the mistake of working your arse off and finding that other people take the credit for it. Enjoy your job and remember that everyone in life who has ever worked or is still working is so blessed. I havent worked for 3 years because my brain shut down - I worked very hard 60 hours a week and the higher you climb a tree the more of the wind you get. So if you are feeling the jitter bugs right now DONT GIVE UP !... work YOUR way and be HAPPY !... you have coped through the spiral and have survived. I am much older than you but believe we all are very clever and we with PTSD are the stronger of the human race.. although we do funny things in funny ways and have terrible shit going on in our lives.. we are stronger than we think. I love your profile image which shows you are an intelligent person so enjoy being you and dont ever give up on anything in life, because you are stronger than you think you are...

 

[Heather]

I know exactly how you feel..I'm starting school this fall to finish my degree.

Just the thought sends my stomach upside down.

I'm determined to do it because I want a better life. I always remember what a counselor said to me years ago:

Feel the fear and do it anyway. I think that's the definition of courage.

Hugs to you

 

[Iamsensative]

What if you flip it on it's ear and you do what you did at the time prior to being hired, "I had t...

Thank so much for your support! I am trying to flip it around. I shared first here, next my therapist. So wish me luck pushing through this new challenge.

I know exactly how you feel..I'm starting school this fall to finish my degree.

Just the thought sends...

Well congratulations to you, you are sp close and you can do it. I just need to take one step at a time. Thank so much.Need to here other people are doing it!

Firstly I absolutely love your profile image of the hamster with the sunnies. That shows that you have a...

Thank you, i look at that hamster and it makes me smile. So i am almost 52..no classes under my belt but i learned everything by doing. Yes, i am so thankful i can work. My spouse is retired and has gone through a number of major surgery and cannot work anymore. So i am the main support. I sometimes think that is the reason i have driven myself so hard. My grown sons and my love. I often think i wont ever make it to retire. PTSD, always telling me the end is near. But everyday, i get up when i can and try to push through. I live with fear, it never really goes away but i fight. I will talk with ny wonderful therapist, he has helped me move before. So thank you and be well. I wish you the best on this journey and i am sending love and courage to us all.

 

[Deadman]

@Iamsensative back when I had a job where I hired and fired people I looked for people who weren't afraid to fail. I wanted people who could try, fail, learn, and then try again. From what you have said here I believe you are that type of person.

 

[VioletButterfly]

Wonderful encouragement and wisdom shared above. Cheering you on! :)

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I took a few community college courses several years ago at the ripe old age of 43 and was terrified of walking into that first class. Then when I had to read anything in front of the class, I almost fainted. Luckily, there was an emt taking the same class. lol I told him to hang close those days.

I was convinced I'd be the oldest one in the room and that all those young whippersnappers right out of high school would still be fresh with knowledge and would leave me in the dust when it came to understanding and doing the class work. But I ended up being wrong on both counts. *Whew*

There was a gentleman in his late 60s and two other ladies in their 50s. Once we started working in groups I noticed many of the youngsters wrote in text speak and weren't nearly as intimidating as I'd imagined. lol All of the instructors I encountered were more than willing to help and accommodate any need I had. I had to take only one or two classes at a time though due to my work load and family demands at the time. Anymore than that and I wouldn't have been able to manage.

Several of the older students enjoyed forming study groups and that was super helpful, too. Everyone was super helpful except for the few who weren't taking their own stuff seriously. I didn't finish the courses all the way through to a degree, (yet, perhaps) but it was a worthy experience. Had I continued, I would have invested in a mini-recorder to help me retain the information better. My note taking skills leave a lot to be desired, not to mention the achy hands trying to write it all out.

I even managed to make straight As in the few initial courses I took, which is something my high school self never ever experienced. That was a nice pick me up to my academic spirits as my mom still reminds me that I graduated by the skin of my teeth and shares that the school offered maximum cum laude, regular cum laude, and thank you laude, and I got the latter. Gee, thanks, mom.

Make it as fun and comfortable for yourself as you can. Ask for what you need and if asked why, just say your brain is hardwired a certain way and the things you ask for help you learn, and after all, that's why you're there, to learn. You've got an amazingly strong spirit with a huge heart. People recognize that and respond in kind. You'll end up teaching them a thing or two, as well, I feel certain. :) Rock on!