Took first step and applied

[BpinkJ]

So I took the first step and applied for SSDI. I'm scared but proud that I finally pushed myself to do it. I don't know what they will say. I have 15 years of medical records dating back from when I was under 18. Do they even look at files from when you were under 18? The only thing I am worried about is that it shows I start and stop treatments. I feel better and don't want a mental illness so I have stopped going to T and stopped medications only to find myself within a year back at square one and starting again. I guess I will wait and see what they say.

 

[Muttly]

Good for you. That's a brave step. I don't know a lot about the criteria they look at but I don't think starting and stopping treatments is going to mean it won't happen.

You probably know this, but in most cases people are turned down the first time they apply. That doesn't matter that much right now. You've taken a huge step in getting the ball rolling

 

[BpinkJ]

The waiting is going to be the worst part! Wish they would just tell you right away.

 

[Prough]

Applying for ssdi can be intimidating and frightening for anybody. It is a very complex system of bureaucratic sillyness. This is to weed out all the fakers(and unitenionaly scares away real sufferers). Based on what you posted, you qualify imho. Now you have to prove it to the govt. Most of the costs will be absorbed by taxpayers. The best guidance I can give you in the months to come, be honest, be accurate, and correct the govt if they make a mistake immediately. Your 15 year old paper trail is going to be your best friend.
The process generally involves filling out tons of paperwork, mailing in every scrap of medical info you have, and seeing a govt doctor for an examination. They are going to review your entire medical file once they get it, as well as the results of your govt exam. They will ask you to submit testimony from friends/family describing your condition.
As far as the stopping and starting tx...
In accordance with ssr 82-59, titles 2, 16, and 34, any person who fails to seek treatment should be denied ssdi. Lucky for you there is an exception...mental illness.
From social security's own website...

1. An individual with a severe mental impairment is clearly unable to understand the consequences of failing to follow prescribed treatment.
   
   Good luck with your application, my process was terrifying, confusing, and very difficult. But I stuck with it and $1000 a month goes a long way to making myself healthy again.

 

[BpinkJ]

I am hoping they say YES so my main priority can be to get myself healthy once and for all. I want to be able to go back to work and be normal. I asked my T if I did an inpatient type treatment would that heal me faster? She said well did things go away when you were at 15? I told her no. She said that is why you need to come see me weekly. She wants to start EMDR I think this week. I'm a mess. I have so much trauma and abuse in my life over years and years. I feel guilty about applying. I ask my T if I should have applied and she said YES. That really scares me. I just found out my new T has diagnosed me with PTSD (I knew this and figured because I have had it 15 years) and also with panic disorder. I have never been diagnosed with panic disorder before, but it explains a lot. I always thought I was depressed with PTSD.