Recording the threats is not so much for the purpose of posting online, but so that you have evidence so the police could better help remedy the situation. It may also help in getting other support - because if you could prove this is happening, there is a lot of action that would likely be taken. These are some pretty serious remarks and threats for someone to be making.
So don't worry if you can post it online or not.
justmehere: Thanks. My father moved out after the divorce about a month ago. For a while he was yelling every day. There were a few days when I had to lock myself in my childhood bedroom (I'm in my early thirties) and call the police. Sometimes he would throw himself against the door, break the door open, and threaten me.
This is some pretty serious trauma at a young age. You also describe him threatening to kill you very recently. This alone, along with dealing with these threats from an unknown sources are very concerning. I'm glad your mother divorced him and he is no longer in the house.
The therapist I had tried visiting for a few weeks handed me a pamphlet from an organization called the International Center Against the Abuse of Covert Technologies that mentions "patients with radio emitting chips in their bodies." But my instinct is to not believe that. Maybe the therapist was unprofessional?
The therapist sounds iffy, at best. It is very strange a therapist would even have their brochure. That group is sketchy, and no matter what, even if it was a totally legit group, it's not really a path towards dealing with, solving, and healing from whatever is cause/source of the threats you are experiencing and how really awful this would be to be going through.
The therapist should have been focusing on a full plan to support you through this time, and helping you develop skills to manage the stress of these experiences until you do get it sorted out.
At the very least, you need a second opinion!
We can all speculate what is going on for you and the best way to handle it, but in the end, the only people who can really figure this out are you and a good therapist and doctor working together as a team to sort out how to best get through this and solve it. You deserve relief from this. In order for the doctor to be able to really evaluate everything, including knowing what tests to run (maybe an MRI?) he has to know everything that is happening for you.
You are clearly really bright and I'm glad you are looking into different options about what could be going on and how to solve it.
It is dangerous and unwise for anyone to self diagnose or diagnose via Internet opinion. You could have PTSD, you could also be experiencing other things. You could be threatened and simply too dissociated to put it together or you could suffering from a brain tumor.
It is especially concerning to me that for someone who writes for a living, thus knows how to communicate well in writing, has a whole forum of people confused by what you have written. It's not quite the typical writing of someone with the degree and skills you have - and I'm concerned it's atypical for you. It could be a sign of the very real stress you are under.
I'm glad you are reaching out online, but you also need some in person support.
I know finances are tight, but that doesn't mean you are without options. Try looking into your local county mental health center or call the United way in your area. (In the US you can call 211 from most phones in most areas and get connected right through to them.) Both should know of very low cost and reputable counseling options.
'm going to have a follow-up appointment with a doctor, an MD, in August. Maybe I'll bring it up then.
This would be a very good idea.
In the meantime, to deal with how real and frightening this all feels, anything that helps you relax and is safe and healthy may help you figure out the next best steps. Try googling mindfulness or deep breathing practices and it might help. The less you isolate the better. There are many writing groups in many areas that meet up in person. Try checking Meetup or any local educational institutions or libraries for any connections to any free professional writing groups. (There are about a bazillion in my area.) Reach out, keep connecting, and be around others as much as you can. This will help you be safer and it will be good to be away from the house where all these threats are happening. It will make it easier to deal with over time. Plus, people around you may even be able to help in more ways than we can.
I can not empathize this enough: it is really important to not isolate when stuff like this happens.
It's hard to reach out for support, but I'm really glad you are.
