Hi everyone. A little about myself..
I am a 45 yr old woman and I was just diagnosed with PTSD 3 weeks ago. To be honest, after all these years of trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, after the years of reading endless self help books, going to different T's to no avail, never knowing what was the real issue, it's actually a huge relief to finally have a name for it. The incident that brought it out was a minor argument on the phone with my daughter, with her angrily saying the words,"you're a horrible person" . That's all that was said and something snapped inside me. I threw the phone, fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably in a fetal position. And I could not get up or stop crying. Those words, were the words my mother used to say to me. The words, my severely abusive ex-husband would say to me. Those words were what flung open the lid I kept shut on all the memories of abuse, neglect and abandonment I suffered throughout my life and I couldn't get up. A few days later when I saw my T it was then that she told me I had PTSD.
I had been seeing her for about a year, as everything in my life seemed to be falling apart, nothing was working. My job, my relationships, my finances, my frustrations with everything, I couldn't understand why nothing was working for me and what it was I was doing wrong. When she told me about PTSD, I got home and googled what it was, and I was floored, because it was me; the symtoms; anger, rage, disassociation, feeling numb, sabotaging relationships, low self esteem, it was me. I wasn't crazy after all. It all made sense after all these years. And I'm grateful for my T for seeing it in me, and for the process ahead that I know she will help me with. I'm grateful for finding this site as well, and have been reading everyone's stories and I can relate to so much on here. I hope I can get through this, and I look forward to learning more and getting to know some of you on here! If anyone has any advise for a newbie at the start of the journey, I would really appreciate it. :)
I am a 45 yr old woman and I was just diagnosed with PTSD 3 weeks ago. To be honest, after all these years of trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, after the years of reading endless self help books, going to different T's to no avail, never knowing what was the real issue, it's actually a huge relief to finally have a name for it. The incident that brought it out was a minor argument on the phone with my daughter, with her angrily saying the words,"you're a horrible person" . That's all that was said and something snapped inside me. I threw the phone, fell to the floor sobbing uncontrollably in a fetal position. And I could not get up or stop crying. Those words, were the words my mother used to say to me. The words, my severely abusive ex-husband would say to me. Those words were what flung open the lid I kept shut on all the memories of abuse, neglect and abandonment I suffered throughout my life and I couldn't get up. A few days later when I saw my T it was then that she told me I had PTSD.
I had been seeing her for about a year, as everything in my life seemed to be falling apart, nothing was working. My job, my relationships, my finances, my frustrations with everything, I couldn't understand why nothing was working for me and what it was I was doing wrong. When she told me about PTSD, I got home and googled what it was, and I was floored, because it was me; the symtoms; anger, rage, disassociation, feeling numb, sabotaging relationships, low self esteem, it was me. I wasn't crazy after all. It all made sense after all these years. And I'm grateful for my T for seeing it in me, and for the process ahead that I know she will help me with. I'm grateful for finding this site as well, and have been reading everyone's stories and I can relate to so much on here. I hope I can get through this, and I look forward to learning more and getting to know some of you on here! If anyone has any advise for a newbie at the start of the journey, I would really appreciate it. :)
