Transference(?)

[jadebear]

I was discussing something in therapy that happened when I was 4 yrs old. It wasn't particularly traumatic, it was just something very confusing to me.

My T's reaction was "there's no way a 4 yr old would be able to do that on their own, they wouldn't even be able to think of it or even know what it means. I don't believe you did that on your own, I believe someone HAD to show you how to do it".

And since then, I feel like I hate him. I mean as in I do not want to ever go back and I truly feel like I cannot stand him.

I don't understand why though. What he said is probably true. But for some reason, it makes me really mad. At him.

Is this just transference?

 

[Lucycat]

I've been trying to get my head round the concept of transference, but I don't really understand. So I am sorry I can't help.

Maybe some other cleverer people will explain it?

 

[jadebear]

Nevermind.

It's a non-issue now anyway.

 

[Lucycat]

You may have resolved it, but I remain curious. There are such conflicting descriptions on different web sites about what it means. Some are completely opposites. I did ask T what it means but he just told me to leave it alone! He thinks I have been reading too much.

I am still hoping that somebody will explain Transference in accurate & simple terms.

 

[rainbow1]

I'm not sure I understand it either but apparently I do it.

Sometimes when I feel angry with my T and he has done nothing wrong he says this is transference.

He explained it to me as me projecting feelings onto him that I wasn't able to deal with or sort out yet. So that he sort of absorbs the feelings and holds them instead of me.

I also have seen many different explanations on the net but I let him worry about what it means cause I get a bit confused. Sorry this probably wasn't much help.

 

[pi314159]

I might be wrong but this doesn't seem like transference to me. Your T offended you and you appropriately felt hurt - I know I would in the same circumstance. If you said you were mad an didn't know why I believe that would be transference.

 

[Lucycat]

Pi, are you able to explain a little more? In some places I have read that it means - for example- putting the feelings I have towards my abuser onto my T. So possibly having misplaced anger for no real reason. However, on the other hand my abuser was my father so there is the conflict of childhood affection towards him that I might also feel towards my T.

Am I on the right tracks at all?

 

[pi314159]

You are on the right tracks. Transference is the misdirection of feelings. It occurs subconsciously.

 

[Lucycat]

Ahhh, so if I am understanding you right, it is the misdirection of any feeling onto anybody?

I had been restricting it to Therapy, but now see it as much wider. This makes better sense to me. Thankyou.

 

[pi314159]

Yes it's redirection to anybody but it is more common in therapy.

 

[Skylynx]

He said you don't know what you knew. He discounted your point of view. If T is going to disagree with your experience, he should wait until you're more accepting to the idea. He could be wrong, too. Anyway, he jumped way ahead of where you are, and I don't blame you for being mad at him. If he's good at other things in therapy, it would be good to bring this up so he won't do it again, and you can get relief from the resentment and stay on with him.