Trauma Anniversary

[Happy Head]

Hi all. The anniversary of my trauma is coming up in two weeks and I was wondering what some of you all did to cope. Over the years my PTSD symptoms have lowered on and around the anniversary date, but they’re still there. I know I have some good (I normally will go biking) and bad (I like my wine) coping mechanisms… I also like to be alone that day too – not sure if this is good or bad.

This also is the first time that I will be in therapy during my anniversary date but I will be working with a new therapist and I don’t know how comfortable I will be with her to talk about the trauma. So I’m really now sure how helpful that will be.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

 

[anthony]

Further info if never read: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/trauma-anniversaries-fact-vs-myth.13881/[/DLMURL]

 

[Ted Moen]

Learning about anniversaries helped me a lot. Now when an anniversary approaches I remind myself the feelings I will likely experience have nothing to do with the people in my current situation, nobody is actually ambushing me even though that's how it feels. On anniversaries I start out to do what I would do if it were not the anniversary, with the notion that I things get too intense it's ok to excuse myself and retreat to a safe place while the feelings pass.

Ted

 

[After Sunset]

I do everything I can to completely ignore the anniversary dates of my traumas. I find something engaging to do, or someone I can help deal with their own problems so I don't think about my own. I have forced myself to let go of the idea that those days are somehow cursed. They are just days, no better and no worse than any other. Unless I let them be worse, and I refuse to do that any-more.

I think it is best to just be kind to yourself on those anniversary days and do whatever it is that most helps you cope. For me that means staying too busy to dwell on anything. There's nothing wrong with a few glasses of wine either.

 

[Happy Head]

Thanks all. While I understand that the significance of a date is "in your head" so to speak it still doesn't negate the fact that we - as humans - mark time. Case in point: our birthdays. Why does it matter that we have to mark the same day every year. These are all man-made dates - sure. But what we decided to do with the date is up to us. It is our choice. Now the first few years were really hard. I tended to go back and rehash everything that happened. As time went on, I decided to mark the date with the good things that have happened since the incident. Now, I sit and add to my "bucket list". A friend once said I was too young to have a bucket list but when I thought about how in an instant I almost lost my life no one is too old for a bucket list. This past year I checked off 5 things from my bucket list... traveled to a new foreign country, got a tatoo, ran a marathon, passed my PhD exams, and did something I'll keep a secret

. I still tend to stay alone that day as I'm not sure what may happen - but I do try to mark it with something good... and a bottle of wine