Sexual Assault Dealing with Trauma Anniversary and Shared Pain

[lvnumc1]

Okay..... Around this time is a trauma anniversary of mine from my abuser. I've had a difficult few days, I was always thinking about my abuser. Even missed my abuser, even knowing what happened to me, but my brain was missing how it hurt(?) Then recently my best friend confided in me telling me he got assaulted by my abuser aswell. Hearing his experience reminded me of my own, and how hearing it happen to someone else made me realize how horrible our abuser is. I cannot help but feel so upset and helpless. I wish I could have done something for him if I knew at the time. I can't help but feel upset, I'm so unbelievably angry and I hate how this happened,, I only now found out and I hate that I held love for someone who is a complete monster. My bestfriend means so much to me and I wish I could have protected him at the time

 

[sonson]

Hi im sorry this happened to the two of you.. Know that it's not on you to protect others from your abuser as you were dealing with a lot of things yourself. The real bad guy is your abuser. Take time to process how real the abuse is but take heart because you two had made it through. Do not beat yourself up for how much you care for your abuser. Be kind to yourself and remember that they are once someone you cared for. I still stalk my abuser after 3 years. People don't understand how complex our experience is and how difficult and far from logical our emotions are. But for us that has gone through it, we know figuring out the why is quite endless and often painful. Our brains just have a funny way to protect itself. The only thing we can do is to keep moving forward. Thanks for sharing your experience!

Okay..... Around this time is a trauma anniversary of mine from my abuser. I've had a difficult few days, I was always thinking about my abuser. Even missed my abuser, even knowing what happened to me, but my brain was missing how it hurt(?) Then recently my best friend confided in me telling me he got assaulted by my abuser aswell. Hearing his experience reminded me of my own, and how hearing it happen to someone else made me realize how horrible our abuser is. I cannot help but feel so upset and helpless. I wish I could have done something for him if I knew at the time. I can't help but feel upset, I'm so unbelievably angry and I hate how this happened,, I only now found out and I hate that I held love for someone who is a complete monster. My bestfriend means so much to me and I wish I could have protected him at the time