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@lostforgottensoul that's a hard question to answer. Here are few tips from my experience:
- Good relationship with your therapist. I can say if I want to work on something or not. She does not push me into working on something that is too hard for me.
- Safe place installation.
- Having coping resources: prayers, music, books, drawing, journaling, literally anything that helps you cope.
- After EMDR I sleep a lot. I mean a lot sometimes even 20 hours. My therapy sessions are on Friday so that I have enough time to stabilize and sleep before Monday.
- If a memory is too hard to work on I can tell my therapists and we leave it for the future. For example, memories about expressing anger are very difficult for me and we don't work on them for now.
- Every therapy sessions does not have to be EMDR. At the beginning you can have one EMDR session and one or two session afterwards to talk or positive resource installation/reenforcement. I would tell my therapists when I want to have a "safe place" session. Even if we have done it before, I can still have a whole session on going back to the safe place. You can request this as many times as you want to.