Trusting People

[FallenAngelJJD]

For me it is hard to trust others. I meet people and things start out great.. I try to lay out everything on the table and explain my depression and anxiety.. at first they say they understand and accept it. But when I'm really down in the dumps and need someone to talk to, they can't handle it and they run. I just want people to accept me, and it seems impossible. - Any advice ?

 

[Phenioxrising]

Yes, first ask yourself if you trust yourself. Others don't really need to know your "labels". Also when others won't listen when your down, it's usually cause they already have a lot on their plate. First try finding things you can relate to, to talk about. and gradually go from there. Judge their tone of voice, body language, and gestures. to know what type of mood their in. it really sucks to be down in the dumps, especially when no one will listen. Feel free to express yourself here, I'll do what I can to help.

 

[Dissociation]

You may always find nice, warm, sencere people to talk with, they are everywere, maybe you can't find them just because you are charging too much this need you have.

While it is much more difficoult to build a relationship with someone to trust whom.
In this sense I don't trust anybody.

 

[FallenAngelJJD]

Thanks. Its just hard to not tell people about my illness. I feel like I'm hiding something & I feel honestys the best policy. On the other hand I understand that no ones obligated to stay and help me. I just wish things were easier.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Baby steps, LOL sorry for the pun. Sometimes you have to fall into a few holes before finding a easier path to walk on. Keep going till you find the right path. The more you try and learn from your mistakes, the easier it will get.

 

[Dissociation]

Try to relaxe. Everybody has problems, you don't know before, but any of us has a plenty of problems of any kind.
So you shouldn't feel different from the others.
If you understand this, your anxyety will fade away.
;)

 

[FallenAngelJJD]

Lmao. You know how many times I've heard "baby steps" ahah and yeah you are right. And I've fallen in many holes.. it just seems to get worst , but I'm a fighter. Thanks your really helping my mood.

 

[Phenioxrising]

Anytime, glad to help.

 

[FallenAngelJJD]

Glad you understand :)

 

[Anna]

I have recently trusted one person with my illness. I was very scared how they would react to me, I was surprised that they have not treated me any differently.

I find it very hard to trust people. In fact, if I am honest with myself I don't trust anyone. If I get close to someone and they let me down, it hurts me so much that I find it easier not to let anyone too close.

 

[FallenAngelJJD]

I totally agree

 

[saffy]

I feel like I'm hiding something & I feel honestys the best policy.

I can relate to you all the way. I have no trust for anyone. I just do not believe that what they say is genuine, especially if it is about me in a positive way.

However, someone did tell me once that I did not have to keep explaining myself to people, or him. I do this often. I think he meant that if I set a boundary I do not have to explain why, something like this anyway.

For me everything I say about myself is on a need to know basis, mainly because I do not trust them with my emotions or that they are being genuine with me. I project this by always being honest with others in the belief that they will do this back. I am also very naive and immature in when it comes to meaningful relationships and either expect too much or not enough, if that makes sense.

If I do tell them, I just say I have some issues that sometimes make me do and think irrational things. But I never let them close enough to actually help. I am unable to connect to people.

I hope you find some middle ground so that you feel supported and protected.

Not sure what else to say really, sorry if this was not of any help, just wanted to say really that you are not alone in this. :)

best wishes
Saffy :)