Childhood Trying To Understand My Orientation

[SeanCharles]

Wow! I was going to post previously, I thought I'd wait and see where this went. Amazingly this went from one spectrum to the other end way deep! In ways I did suspect that this thread would end up doing what it did. I do have to wonder if the fact that two later traumas involved a male and female on separate occasions and the trauma (Dom Violence) at the hands of my parents before their recovery which enabled/instigated my later traumas as I mentioned above has left me with questions.

Initially when I first read this thread, there was an Ah Ha! Now that I've circled back, I am still in a quandary that I was upon reading this thread. I am sure I am talking in circles. If anyone has questions, feel free to ask me.

 

[Symphony]

My answer is directly to the OP and might be considered controversial to persons who didn't "grow up that way". I will be using religious terminology in the religious sense- NOT that I endorse what I'm saying. I've been through conversion therapy before- so I can assure you that NO offense is intended towards anyone's individual beliefs or orientations:

I was told not to label myself as "bi" because that goes against my christian beliefs. I am so confused.

Your orientation has nothing to do with your beliefs. You can be Bi and Christian at the same time. However, according to the Christian belief, you cannot act on your orientation. Lust, laying, intercourse, etc with someone who is not of the opposite gender is a sin. Cheating on your spouse is a sin. Being Bi is not a sin. Acting on it is. Go ahead and label yourself Bi, if that's how you choose to identify, because it doesn't make you any less of a Christian to do so. You can't help the fact that you're attracted to two genders. The only thing you can help is how you behave and what you choose to do with your thoughts. If you're choosing to abide by the (basic) Christian lifestyle, then now that simply means remaining faithful to your wife.

 

[Anarchy]

Being Bi is not a sin. Acting on it is.

Who told you that?
Do you actually believe them?
Do you believe that a supposedly omnipresent omnipotent and omniscient being that could create a universe, and that sat back in the twentieth century to allow at least 220,000,000 people be murdered and many more to be tortured by governments outside of war, another at least 70,000,000 to be killed in wars - is going to get upset over what gender you date? Or if you are openly polyamorus? Or even if you date animals?

Let's face it, the supposed books of that deities words, aren't exactly consistent. For such a supposedly control freak and conveniently (for corrupt priests on the make and busybodying bigots) judgemental being, its efforts and skills in the direction of proof reading are amazingly lacking - and that's a deity that's supposed to be omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent, so ignorance and lack of time and ability can not be used as excuses.

if you do believe, what relevance does that dogma have for anyone else?

Are you advocating the persecution of peaceful acts between consenting adults?

 

[Symphony]

Who told you that?
Do you actually believe them?
Do you believe that a supposedly omnipresent omnipoten...

If you had read my post in full you would have seen that this has nothing to do with my personal beliefs.

With that said, peace. I'm out, thread is unwatched. Religion is a major trigger for me.

*please do not tag me in this thread again*

 

[anonymous]

It's unfortunate that some are too blinded by rules in a book written by the ancestors of the very people who still keep us all enslaved to this day. They will have a rude awakening, indeed a massive shock in the near future, I can't quite believe how in denial they are! It's almost funny.

 

[anonymous]

In fact, it's hilarious how easy it is to control some people with a book!

 

[Ronin]

it's hilarious how easy it is to control some people with a book!

Hope you don't mind Anon, but I'm so snatching this line as a summary for whenever I need to explain religious wars as of past two millenia. :hilarious::coffee:

 

[anonymous]

No problemo Ronin ;)

 

[Gs172003]

And somebody bashing my faith isn't ok to me but it is what it is.

As far as the OP you will have to come to terms with your identity in your way. How you do it and in the terms of your faith is that ultimately regardless of how you feel you have no intention on acting on it ( infidelity is infidelity) and as far as your faith is concerned that's all that matters at this point anyway. As far as your dad..i wish I had answers for that.

 

[Anarchy]

Infidelity is only infidelity if there's an expectation of exclusivity there.

If there's not that expectation, you're free to explore without feeling like you've broken an agreement

Jfi, I had a long term gf who asked me to bring guys home so she could watch. Im totally not into multiple partners, so she had to imagine. Me bringing a woman home would have been totally unacceptable to her.

All depends on who you are with and coming to agreement that you are both ok with.

 

[Anarchy]

If you had read my post in full

I did

you would have seen that this has nothing to do with my personal beliefs.

I also re read it several times, and that part is still not clear to me. Others are welcome to draw their own conclusions, I don't make any claim to be able to see through their eyes.

*please do not tag me in this thread again*

I'm not going to play that game*. You made a comment on a thread, you can expect it to be quoted.


*See Eric Berne's "games people play"

 

[Gs172003]

Infidelity is only infidelity if there's an expectation of exclusivity there.

If there's not that expe...

Somebody with religious convictions will likely not go for that. And your example? Neither of you were into it. Infidelity is infidelity if you have to sneak around to do it. Better?