Two kids or more/fooling around

[Zicim]

I remember playing sexual type games of truth and dare as a kid and had 1 awkward memory at school In the first grade. Felt guilt for years, researched and read that kids around the same age makes it "sexual exploration." Does it? Was this second hand abuse?

1. Fell straddled on balance beam in PE age 6. The teacher brought me in the dark equipment storage area to check me in my undies. My mom was notified, but I felt a huge sense of shame.
2. Second grade played games with friend where we had to be naked or act out sexual touching. Or rub our own privates in front of each other (Two girls). This was mixed in with normal childhood games and play.
3. 5th grade: games of truth or dare with two girls. The dares my friend gave also had "punishments" one including licking the other girls privates. When mine was licked, I spent the next whole year thinking that I might die because of her saliva touching inside of me. Simulated sex with this girl also occurred.
4. At a party with a group of girls. 5th grade. Remember having to do various sexual type of poses on a bed in her parents room at a party. Each took turns posing. Can't remember a lot about it. Just kind of a red glow in the square shaped room.

Not sure why I am just now thinking about this stuff either.

 

[Anez]

Sexual exploration is normal at a certain age and can become much more enhanced when in a group setting. Kids cannot be considered perpetrators of sexual abuse until they are 11 or 12 (in US, varies by state). With that being said, the licking in 5th grade is what stands out as the most concerning. (Well, as well as the 6th grade PE teacher thing, considering only a female nurse should have been allowed to do any sort of examination, but that sounds more like a scared, just not smart, teacher reacting to you being injured and not being sure what to do.) Personally, I would have a hard time labeling it second hand abuse. It sounds like a bad combination of lack of proper supervision (2nd grade games, 5th grade games, sleepover) and sexual exploration. Granted, it seems like the level of sexual exploration is somewhat high which might mean that one of the girls, especially if there was one or two in particular driving these games, was being exposed to sexual abuse (witness or victim) and/or inappropriate sexual material for her age (watching parents have sex, watching porn, etc.).

 

[Zicim]

Sexual exploration is normal at a certain age and can become much more enhanced when in a group setting. Kids cannot be c...

The p.e. thing happened when I was 6. 1st grade.

 

[Lahob]

Was the PE thing sexual in nature? Or rather, inappropriate judgement on the teacher's part? I think that may be the key to figuring out which way it goes for that one.

 

[Zicim]

Was the PE thing sexual in nature? Or rather, inappropriate judgement on the teacher's part? I think that may be the key...

Not sure, the memory is foggy. And I remember hating going to PE after that. Probably innocent, just looking back wondering why I felt the shame and embarrassment if I was only 6.

 

[Lahob]

In my line of work, kids tend to feel shameful or embarrassed about their "private parts" because society kind of conditions them to be, i.e. "keep your pants on or they'll see your bottom!" when out in public, "no one is ever supposed to touch you here or here" when teaching about stranger danger (for lack of a better word), along with things that can come along with potty training/accidents. But it would make sense for you to have a bad feeling about going into the dark room with a teacher and having your crotch area "checked", that should give anybody the heeby jeebies.