Hello Group! I hope to find some answers or perhaps just a shoulder along the way
My partner of 10yrs has recently had it suggested to him that he likely has PTSD. I had already suspected and had been researching. Long LONG story short - he was able to control his symptoms until he retired then all hell broke loose. Distant, pushing me away, angry outbursts (non-violent) dramatic mood swings, depression, activity levels that would kill 3 normal people. The more I tried to get him to talk to me the further he would push me away, so I stopped trying, only takes 10 kicks in the head for this bright girl to get the picture.
And then it all changed, all of a sudden he was Mr Happy In Tune With Life..... naturally I became very concerned, and suspicious, random check of his e-mail confirmed that he had been hiding a "relationship" with a woman. Nothing physical, but that he could open up to her and pour his heart out tore my heart apart. I kept my cool and watched, needing to see where this was headed. I was able to stay detatched for a little over a month before I lost that detatchment and confronted him. Basically told him I wasn't going to fight, I was done, leaving, out.
After a very long weekend of discussion where he tried in vain to make me believe him, he realized that I did know more of what was going on that I was telling him, I countered every lie with fact. He opened up and TALKED to me. I had missed my friend so much having him back and open was indescribeable.
He agreed to cut off contact with her and start counselling, which he has done, that's where the suggestion of PTSD came from along with depression. He's trying, I have to give him that, very much more plugged in to our lives, but he's still emotionally withdrawn. After the fantastic openness of that weekend to the closed door - brick wall - routine, it's like getting told you aren't good enough over and over and over again.
I am very thankful to have found this site, now I know it's more likely PTSD symptomology than a reflection of how he feels for me or how he views me.
I hope not to need you often....but I'm very glad you're here!!
one question - what to do with the urge to ask about the counselling session? I let him bring it to me and told him I won't ask but I'm here to listen any time there's anything he needs or wants to talk about....... is that the right approach or is he going to think I don't care?
(add and ARGH to that UGH)
My partner of 10yrs has recently had it suggested to him that he likely has PTSD. I had already suspected and had been researching. Long LONG story short - he was able to control his symptoms until he retired then all hell broke loose. Distant, pushing me away, angry outbursts (non-violent) dramatic mood swings, depression, activity levels that would kill 3 normal people. The more I tried to get him to talk to me the further he would push me away, so I stopped trying, only takes 10 kicks in the head for this bright girl to get the picture.
And then it all changed, all of a sudden he was Mr Happy In Tune With Life..... naturally I became very concerned, and suspicious, random check of his e-mail confirmed that he had been hiding a "relationship" with a woman. Nothing physical, but that he could open up to her and pour his heart out tore my heart apart. I kept my cool and watched, needing to see where this was headed. I was able to stay detatched for a little over a month before I lost that detatchment and confronted him. Basically told him I wasn't going to fight, I was done, leaving, out.
After a very long weekend of discussion where he tried in vain to make me believe him, he realized that I did know more of what was going on that I was telling him, I countered every lie with fact. He opened up and TALKED to me. I had missed my friend so much having him back and open was indescribeable.
He agreed to cut off contact with her and start counselling, which he has done, that's where the suggestion of PTSD came from along with depression. He's trying, I have to give him that, very much more plugged in to our lives, but he's still emotionally withdrawn. After the fantastic openness of that weekend to the closed door - brick wall - routine, it's like getting told you aren't good enough over and over and over again.
I am very thankful to have found this site, now I know it's more likely PTSD symptomology than a reflection of how he feels for me or how he views me.
I hope not to need you often....but I'm very glad you're here!!
one question - what to do with the urge to ask about the counselling session? I let him bring it to me and told him I won't ask but I'm here to listen any time there's anything he needs or wants to talk about....... is that the right approach or is he going to think I don't care?
(add and ARGH to that UGH)
