Ugh :/

[Inwardly_Broken]

:( So I just got back from a campus group meeting and I am REALLY shaken up. My hands are trembling, my heart is racing, I can't seem to get enough air, my head is spinning, my thoughts are everywhere, I'm anxious, and I have a massive headache.

After our meeting got over I was talking with my roommate when her boyfriend (one of my good guy friends) came up from behind me and picked me up in a bear hug. Due to the fact that my ex boyfriend's raping and beating me, I get a little freaked out when things like this happen.

The next thing I remember, I am down on the ground and all 80 something people were looking at me. I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and disappear. I couldn't do anything. I was frozen and tried not to cry, I was actually just trying to get my breathing under control. But I guess when he picked me up I screamed so loud all 80 something people stopped talking and just looked at me.

My friends just sat there and laughed thinking it was a funny joke. It would have been if it didn't bring me to this state and take me back to a time when my ex boyfriend did the same thing to me and then proceeded to drop me on my head and kick me until I had four broken and two dislocated ribs with massive bruising. Ugh, I wish I could just calm down.:sorry:

 

[Inwardly_Broken]

I'm going to be reliving this all night long... looks like another sleepless night tonight. Unless a miracle happens, but usually it takes me quite sometime to calm down.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Oh what a horrid experience Inwardly. I am sorry you had such a devastating reaction! [((((((((Hugs)))))))]

 

[therapybankrupt]

Are you doing your breathing? Think what tools have you learned to help you for situations like this? Distractions work for me. Exersize or a bath might help. Do you have someone to call?

 

[Inwardly_Broken]

I do not know any "official" breathing things. Currently I'm just trying to breath deep through my nose and back out. It's getting better... slowly. I am a person who just internalizes and keeps everything locked up. This is helping actually, posting it, so people who actually understand can help or at least read it. My roommate and I talked about it a bit but she doesn't know what to do with it. She said a few generalized comfort statements and went back to her reading. She did tell me that John (her boyfriend and my friend who picked me up) felt REALLY bad. So that too helps, a little. I think I'm just going to cuddle with my pets and try to get a little sleep.... or I'll just do more homework (story of my life :cautious:)

 

[therapybankrupt]

Ok! What ever helps you! I love to cuddle my pet! :):hug: The breathing thing = Deep breath in through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Slowly two times. Deep cleansing breaths work best for me. It also helps to sit up tall and notice every part of my body from top of head to tip of toes. I am not a doctor but this is how I do it when calming myself. I hope it helps!

 

[Inwardly_Broken]

I'll give it a try, thanks :) Yeah I love my pets, they are my therapy right now (the town I live in is too small to have good therapy). They always seem to know when you need cheering up! Thank God for animals <3