Ugh.

[stuff]

I've recently come across what I would describe as my dream job. I've been through the initial interview process and did really well. They are now bringing me in for a second interview to meet the HR manager. This is an amazing, creative position that would be really good for me, but I'm terrified. I don't know how I will maintain full time 9-5 employment when I'm still suffering from chronic insomnia. I always work multiple part time jobs so I can hide my ptsd symptoms. I honestly don't know what to do. I don't want ptsd to rob me of a good career.

 

[mytai]

Hi @stuff. I'm going to respond to this from two different perspectives (professional and personal), not necessarily covering the same thing though.

Speaking as someone who has conducted interviews and hired new staff, a second interview is amazing. Most interviewers know after the first interview who they are seriously interested in hiring, one of the reasons for conducting a second interview (especially with a different person) is to confirm that the feeling they got from you in your interview is accurate. So congratulations on making it to round two. If you are feeling any stress about the second interview, I hope this tidbit helps to ease it a bit.

Coming from a personal standpoint addressing the 9-5 job, PTSD, and insomnia, for me it actually helped to have a set routine. The first few weeks were rough going, it took a lot of effort for me to get into the rhythm of things, but after that period, the consistency helped. I'm dealing with insomnia (and some fear of going to sleep) currently, part of the reason is starting up on medication again (side effect is insomnia), and part of it is from fear. Having a consistent time I go into work helps to adjust my sleeping pattern, sometimes I'm still incredibly exhausted going into work because I didn't sleep the night before, but my body is used to getting up at a certain time now, and going to sleep at a certain time. The consistent pattern helps correct my insomnia on it's own after a day or two.

Not saying this is how it is for everyone, but coming from a personal standpoint, that is how it went for me.

 

[stuff]

Thanks @mytai. I guess the only way I'm going to know is if I try. Scared that ptsd will steal a dream away from me, and my therapist is pretty uncertain of how it's going to go, but I guess trying is better than not trying.

 

[mytai]

@stuff, that's an amazing attitude to take about this. You never know until you try... that's usually my attitude with trying stuff in therapy. Try and keep in contact with your T a lot during the transition period. I found that creating a consistent routine before bed helps my brain know it's time to wind down, if all else fails I have back up medication to help me sleep if I need it. That might be something to consider talking over with your T, having a back up plan for sleep if your insomnia is relentless.

 

[Barconian]

I guess the only way I'm going to know is if I try.

Yep!

 

[Bedbug]

I think @mytai's advice is really good.

I'm fortunate enough to already have my dream job but have been signed off sick since November. I'm starting to think about going back but, like you, I'm terrified about how I will cope. Luckily my manager is being very supportive and has just emailed me this morning to say that I can ease back into my role at my own pace, starting just with visits and then shorter hours and limited responsibilities. That's great, but I'm still worrying about whether I will ever be able to cope with my old role.

However, I know I am getting ahead of myself. I have to try. What is the worst that could happen? Surely no worse than if I don't try at all and simply give in to my PTSD now.

Sorry, this is bit of a ramble, but I think what I'm trying to say is, what harm can it do to give this new job a try? Weigh that up against the benefits to you if you can do the job. It might not work out, but not trying ensures that it won't work out. Also, you don't know that this new employer won't make any accommodations for you if you do start to struggle. They obviously really like you and can see what you have to offer.

 

[mytai]

To @Bedbug and @stuff, what's the worst that can happen in these situations? You find out it doesn't work and your symptoms won't allow for the job. On the flip side, if you don't give it a shot you will never know if it would have worked out for you, and you will always wonder.