Relationship "unable To Love"?

[Aalexya]

Not really, my SO/ExSO was always very much into me, wanted to know things, talk etc, in their ba...

I'm curious when u write SO/ExSO...are you two in limbo? If I may ask.
And do u have communication issues with her, or rather...does she have a hard time opening up and talking regularly? (Forgive me if u alrdy mentioned it)

 

[TheMinsterman]

I'm curious when u write SO/ExSO...are you two in limbo? If I may ask.
And do u have communication issu...

Yeah, it's quite frustrating unfortunately, I'm not sure if we're broken up, broke up with intention of revisiting it when she's in a better place, still together but just on ice or plain old we're together, it's just a lull spot. So I am forced to

We have done during this bad spell yes, before? No, we spoke constantly, so the drop off has been quite dramatic. After a short break and some space we're talking much more again now. Before all this, she opened up a lot, she spoke to me all the time, she text me all the time, we'd speak about things (she actually felt it was me who kept things in). Now? When shes comfortable she shares, when she isn't, she doesn't.

 

[Aalexya]

Yeah, it's quite frustrating unfortunately, I'm not sure if we're broken up, broke up with intent...

For me it was him showing a bit of interest for a wk, then after our second date is when it flipped and less and less communication, to where the good mornings stopped. And short responses. To this past wk of isolation. Saw him this wkend, was able to ask non-chalant questions, but again, none about me in return. And back to not rly talking. And that's what makes me feel like it's good when I'm with him and then he's done w me or something. And man am I tired of feeling that way or my mind automatically going there. I'm trying so hard not to.

 

[TheMinsterman]

For me it was him showing a bit of interest for a wk, then after our second date is when it flipped and...

It could be that it simply started getting a lot more serious by your second date, and that's what triggered a stress response in him, suddenly it wasn't just some fun and getting to know each other, more was happening and it could have startled him and made him question if he is really ready for this.

 

[Mon15]

Aalexya, there are a few slight differences with combat trauma then there are with other forms of P...

@Florian7051 Thank you for chiming in!! I just happened to be reading through posts to help clear my mind and your insight on Combat Trauma definitely helps soothe my mind. I love my vet dearly and will definitely watch the links you provided. God Bless You! :)

 

[Aalexya]

It could be that it simply started getting a lot more serious by your second date, and that's wha...

Perhaps that's it. Hopefully that's it. Not that I wish any stress upon this sweet man in some cynical way...not what I mean by that. I just am wanting to be rly optimistic about this relationship regardless of his trauma and work thru it all.
But I've been neglected for most of my life so I'm scared that that may continue with his circumatances...or wondering if perhaps, over time, he'd slowly relax his walls and allow me in. Idk

 

[TheMinsterman]

Perhaps that's it. Hopefully that's it. Not that I wish any stress upon this sweet man in some cynical...

Time is sadly what you'll need to give things, in mean time, look after yourself too, don't let it wear you down completely, you need to be the best you that you can be.

 

[Aalexya]

Time is sadly what you'll need to give things, in mean time, look after yourself too, don't let i...

I really appreciate your responses. It's helpful, more than you realize. The non communication is probably the worst for me. Because it's killed past relationships along with neglect and abuse, so when theres not rly any except like the one text I got today...it just automatically puts me in the mode of...he doesn't give a crap for me.

 

[TheMinsterman]

I really appreciate your responses. It's helpful, more than you realize. The non communication is proba...

I am glad to be able to help in any way I can, it's hard, very hard, lack of communication is just a massive heart ache, it will take time, I hope it works on, this forum is a god send!

 

[Hope69]

That gives me the stamina to keep being patient, your kind words. Thank you for that! I think a lot of...

3 weeks is not long into a relationship. Listen to yourself. Just a heads up, if you have suffered from lack of affection do you really want to get into a close relationship with someone who says in the first few weeks they are not sure they can love. Forgive me if I'm wrong but it seems like you may be repeating a pattern. It was kind of him to be honest and share that with you. But wanting to be in a close relationship with someone you don't know well yet and who may not be able to love you seems unwise.

 

[Buttercup]

Aalexya, there are a few slight differences with combat trauma then there are with other forms of P...

Thank you so much for your input and insight. And the video links! This is very important stuff to know on a much bigger scale than here.

 

[Sunshine71]

My hubbie has said he had to switch off his feelings just to cope with his PTSD. He is now hard and numb. He is not the man I fell in love with. I have been by his side for nearly 30 years since we were teenagers and supporting him for 10 years with PTSD - its horrible and I just want a "normal" life.... Your man may be cold towards you at times. He may not be able to be enthusiastic about things like others. It really really is tough...sorry to sound negative - its just been a very difficult time here recently - I wish you all the best and great you are reseaching this early in your relationship xx