Other Unable to use my bath after ex-partner attempted suicide in it. Advice? Anyone been through similar?

  • Post starter Post starter DSD
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DSD

Hi everyone,

I have posted before. It has been 4 weeks’ since the trauma of finding my ex partner had tried to commit suicide.

Due to the nature of how my ex partner had attempted suicide, there was a LOT of blood and other bodily fluids etc in my bathroom and particularly, my bath tub. Since then, I have not been able to use my bath tub at all. Just the thought of trying to go in there instantly raises my heart rate and I start panicking.

I am in the process of being assessed by talking therapies for PTSD but just wondered if anyone else had any advice? Has anyone else been through something similar?

Thank you.
 
Whilst there are extremely effective ways of working through that trigger? The fundamental aspect of ALL of them is control. AKA find someplace else to do your daily ablutions so that you can work back to having your bath as your own in your own time.

When my power/water was out for several months? We used the gym (and showers) in the morning before work/school, & the pool (and showers) in the evening before bed. THAT level of workaround. So that you can chip away at the trauma piece in your own time. As one doesn’t “need” a bath/shower, they’re just effin’ convenient.


 
I agree totally with @Friday. Maybe consider the opposite of the bathtub. I have always loved the see the way Japanese people bathe. A little wooden stool. A bucket of warm water and a scoop. Or a shower hose. Lot of utensils for foaming and scrubbing. Lots of time spent scrubbing each bit from toe to top and then scooping or spraying the warm water over yourself to rinse the suds. It feels like a ritual to me, I love the sense of not hurrying and you wont be enclosed. You can do it on the bathroom floor near the drain or even outside in the sun if your weather is good.
I have also used the bathroom to gurgle in my throat if I have anxiety. I bend forward and gurgle until my guts relaxes and most often I burp. I think of it as a silent scream and I think that is a good thing. I hope you might try some of these ideas to help your brain be distracted and stop that trauma pathway from growing stronger. Best wishes.
 
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Is it possible to renovate your bathroom? Or hide the tub behind a shower curtain at least. After my son’s suicide, I had to change everything in my bedroom because it triggered me so badly. (He used to sit there and cry because he was so depressed.) Painting the walls helped most, I could sleep there again. But I still avoid using the room where he died.
 
Is it possible to renovate your bathroom? Or hide the tub behind a shower curtain at least. After my son’s suicide, I had to change everything in my bedroom because it triggered me so badly. (He used to sit there and cry because he was so depressed.) Painting the walls helped most, I could sleep there again. But I still avoid using the room where he died.
I am very sorry to hear about your son’s suicide. I have since got a new bath mat, laundry basket etc. Medium term, I do plan on redecorating in there as I think it may help.
 

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