Other Uncharted Diagnosis Doom

[Skywatcher]

I asked. My T responded, “yes, you have borderline traits, especially the abandonment piece.” My mind flashes through stuff I have told her in the last 4 months. Things where her voice is calm and serious and she’s writing stuff down on a note pad. This happens after particularly bad weeks. So I research and find this stuff is most extreme in adolescence and peri-menopause time. I then scan my life and notice my extreme reactions that just don’t seem normal. Reactions that I either held inward, cried or shared only with friends. I’m kind of freaking out. It is on a spectrum which explains why I am able to have great relationships and a good job, stable family. It’s just that now I feel as though the work just got longer and harder, in some ways hopeless. I wonder if maybe I just exaggerated stuff to her, but then I look back at it and think, “wow, I did react to that trigger that way.” “Complex” is starting to be a word that I hate.

Has this happened to you? Added diagnosis causing a sense of doom?

 

[Friday]

Has this happened to you? Added diagnosis causing a sense of doom?

Yep. Although in my case the 2nd disorder was PTSD. Took me about a year of being stubbornly set against the idea (ancient history is NOT my problem! :mad: ) before I was actually willing to dig deep and go after it.

My T responded, “yes, you have borderline traits, especially the abandonment piece.”

Not that one or the other is better or worse, they’re just attempts to describe what’s already there...

...borderline traits and being diagnosed BPD are 2 different things.

When something is in traits or tendencies? Whilst it doesn’t rise to the level of a wholly different or comorbid disorder, one of the awesome upsides it that It gives you a whole great big brand spanking NEW toolbox to work out of. :D :tup: So not just using trauma therapy on the abandonment piece, but also DBT. Being able to hit your hardest stuff with 2 sets of tools, instead of just 1.

A wholly seperate / comorbid disorder, on the other hand, has the same upside (the right tool for the job) but -IME- instead of adding specific tools to deal with specific issues, it means I’m actually working out of both toolboxes interchangeably. Sometimes hitting the same symptom with BOTH sets of tools in order to get good traction (because each disorder is feeding into the other one), other times I can tell by the way a shared symptom “feels” that it belongs to ThingA or ThingB.

It’s just that now I feel as though the work just got longer and harder, in some ways hopeless.

Which actually means it’s the opposite of this ^^^.

Work just got faster and easier, because you’re able to attack it with both sets of tools, instead of attempting to manage it with one arm essentially tied behind your back, and moreover no longer attempting to jam a square peg into a round hole.

 

[Sideways]

Totally get this. But when the initial panic passes, there are a few things:

1) with most descriptions of Complex PTSD, the person has borderline 'traits' simply by virtue of having cPTSD;
2) as @Friday said, having 'traits' and having the disorder are 2 entirely different things. Being told your diagnosis includes 'traits', is exactly the same as saying "You don't meet the criteria to be diagnosed with BPD", because all you have is some traits, not the complete disorder;
3) having traits of a personality disorder? Makes you incredibly human. Most people have traits of different personality disorders. This is why having some traits, is not the same as having the disorder;
4) this bit here...

I asked. My T responded, “yes, you have borderline traits, especially the abandonment piece.”

If you ever feel up to it? Go back and ask your T are there any other traits that are particularly significant in my case?

No point trying to guess. But this information is incredibly helpful to understanding yourself, and what sorts of treatments are going to provide you personally with the best outcomes.

 

[Skywatcher]

Totally get this. But when the initial panic passes, there are a few things:

1) with most descriptions of Complex PTSD, the person has borderline 'traits' simply by virtue of having cPTSD;
2) as @Friday said, having 'traits' and having the disorder are 2 entirely different things. Being told your diagnosis includes 'traits', is exactly the same as saying "You don't meet the criteria to be diagnosed with BPD", because all you have is some traits, not the complete disorder;
3) having traits of a personality disorder? Makes you incredibly human. Most people have traits of different personality disorders. This is why having some traits, is not the same as having the disorder;
4) this bit here...

If you ever feel up to it? Go back and ask your T are there any other traits that are particularly significant in my case?

No point trying to guess. But this information is incredibly helpful to understanding yourself, and what sorts of treatments are going to provide you personally with the best outcomes.

Actually, she mentioned two others and gave examples, but then she mentioned things that I don’t have as well. She tried to normalize it and say that we are all hard-wired differently and have struggles. (it was actually a short part of my session because we needed to do emdr on my 3 year old which is part of my abandonment targets). We’ll need to spend Tuesday preparing for her being away the following week because I’ve been known to freak out. So... of course I left and obsessively researched, felt shame that maybe she feels stuck with me after two years of these same issues, or maybe feels sorry for me which is even worse. I catastrophised the situation that she will transfer me or leave. Then a few more trigger/stressors happened as well. I think I have managed to calm down some via exercise and outside, my network of friends... which is part of my tools anyways. I bought the book she suggested. It’s about highly sensitive people.

 

[TruthSeeker]

Yep. Although in my case the 2nd disorder was PTSD. Took me about a year of being stubbornly set against the idea (ancient history is NOT my problem! :mad: ) before I was actually willing to dig deep and go after it.


Not that one or the other is better or worse, they’re just attempts to describe what’s already there...

...borderline traits and being diagnosed BPD are 2 different things.

When something is in traits or tendencies? Whilst it doesn’t rise to the level of a wholly different or comorbid disorder, one of the awesome upsides it that It gives you a whole great big brand spanking NEW toolbox to work out of. :D:tup: So not just using trauma therapy on the abandonment piece, but also DBT. Being able to hit your hardest stuff with 2 sets of tools, instead of just 1.

A wholly seperate / comorbid disorder, on the other hand, has the same upside (the right tool for the job) but -IME- instead of adding specific tools to deal with specific issues, it means I’m actually working out of both toolboxes interchangeably. Sometimes hitting the same symptom with BOTH sets of tools in order to get good traction (because each disorder is feeding into the other one), other times I can tell by the way a shared symptom “feels” that it belongs to ThingA or ThingB.



Which actually means it’s the opposite of this ^^^.

Work just got faster and easier, because you’re able to attack it with both sets of tools, instead of attempting to manage it with one arm essentially tied behind your back, and moreover no longer attempting to jam a square peg into a round hole.

@Friday.....Really good negative labeling-I don't want that..... issue-and a great flip to a more positive perspective! Will have to ponder this one a bit.