Undiagnosed Unclear Childhood Don't Remember Much/lots Of Trauma In Adult Life Can Someone Help Me??

[Jenny Capps]

Hello my name is Jenny, I do not remember much of my childhood. I draw big blanks I only remember a few things and I am not sure if I remember these things cause I seen pictures and heard stories. I don't know what is true and what is not. I remember lying a lot when I was younger why I don't know. My teen years didn't exists as I was a young mother. From that point on I have memories even ones that I don't want anymore. I have had abusive marriages. Mental and physical. I have trauma from loosing a child in 2002. I have a laundry list long of things that have happened in my life as most people do. I just seem to have a problem with dealing with those. I want to remember my childhood but I am scared to death of what I will find out about my family. I have essentially cut off most of my family and scared to reach out to some members of my family and asking questions. I just lost my mother and grandmother months apart recently and I have started to question myself on not asking all those questions to family members still here. So this is a condensed version of my craziness.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

Welcome! I hope you have a therapist to help you, if and when you decide to start digging into the past. God bless you in your journey!

 

[Beverly G.]

Hi, I just decided to join even though I was diagnosed in 2005. it sounds to me like you would really benefit from a therapist and a lot of prayer. I don't think I would make it one day to the next without someone to talk to.

 

[LizardViolet]

Yes, a therapist, to help you unpack your past -- but try to find one with experience with trauma survivors.

 

[Pale Warrior]

Hi Jenny, so sorry to read of your history.

Regarding childhood memories, don't forget we all have childhood amnesia, everybody has it to a greater or lesser extent. My husband has little or no memory of his childhood but from all family reports it was relatively uneventful. Me on the other hand, I can remember graphic details from my 2nd year onwards (and I grew up in hell house).

What I'm saying is that you really need a therapist to help you unpick what is real and what is anxiety, to diagnose what is hapening to you and to start the healing process.

Sometimes it takes a life event such as a bereavement to kick us into action. If anything positive can come from the tragedy of your loss it may be that you are prompted to seek help.

You have lived though a lot, be kind to yourself.