Understanding The Difference Between Dissaociation And Being An Introvert

[Never Give Up]

Introvert - is it a trait you are born with or can you become one?
My wife was so out going prior to events that happened last year. So I see a change that happened almost over night.

 

[Echo]

@Never Give Up - I would urge you to speak to a specialist in supporting women post-cancer. They would have the best insight into what is going on for your wife. We are not specialists and have no right to diagnose in any way.

 

[Never Give Up]

I had called "our" cancer social worker who had cancer before and is familiar with post cancer trauma. I went to her about some concerns I had. Even know I am still married and I was asking questions, the social worker was not really able to help me because of confidentiality issues. I respected that I was not able to get some answers even know I was on the contact list.

 

[Echo]

Nonetheless, it would be better to approach someone with expertise in cancer-related trauma or grief than necessarily seek out someone with expertise in PTSD, since that is only a guess. You are only going to be able to talk in generalities anyway, since your wife is not going to be present. Maybe concentrate on grief counselling rather than necessarily even trauma at this stage. Your wife is grieving for many lost people, her femininity, her lost physique (perhaps), her youth, and maybe in it all, she cannot find her love or sexual feelings for you. Maybe these problems have highlighted issues in your relationship that were there prior to the cancer, for your wife. Maybe they relate solely to the grief. Anger is a very natural part of grieving. Here is an article (I don't know how good) on the five stages of grief, as defined by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617

A grief counsellor might well be able to advise you on how best to support your wife, how you might be inadvertently contributing to the problems, and whether there is any chance of salvaging your relationship realistically.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Extrovert means you get "recharged" by being around other people. Introvert means that you "recharge" while by yourself.

I think that introversion & extroversion don't necessarily change because of PTSD as it's more of a core part of who we are. I think you should read up on the stress cup analogy as that may explain a lot.

I don't think it would be easy to find any PTSD sufferer, whether an extrovert or an introvert who hasn't had periods of isolation in order to cope.

I don't think the words extrovert and introvert apply here. She sounds stressed and is isolating in order to cope. That is, isolating does not equate with introversion.

 

[Never Give Up]

@Echo & @Solara - thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and opinions with me. I have been on these forums 8 hours a day for months and I am starting to better understand more each day. You both a special way of delivering your ideas and suggestions in a way that at time is easy to understand for a beginner like me. I am glad you are on here.

 

[Sandi79]

My boyfriend is an introvert. He also has PTSD.

I had the same questions about which behavior was which (although, I'm not sure now why it matters)

I have learned that this is who he is and the label does not matter. There are things he needs (time alone, space, etc) and we have been working on how to communicate those needs.

Introverts get their energy from quiet time alone. Extroverts get their energy from being with others. Just knowing this has helped us tremendously :)

 

[Never Give Up]

I can understand the basics between the introvert vs. extrovert qualities. When you look at a place like Wikipedia and look up introvert, then look up dissociation....there are similar traits of aloneness periods and quiet times. What about the lack of communication, anger, control, detached from reality. Can symptoms overlap each other and make a person have multiple symptoms. I guess I would leave that up to the professionals who can determine those things.

 

[Hashi]

When you look at a place like Wikipedia and look up introvert, then look up dissociation....there are similar traits of aloneness periods and quiet times. What about the lack of communication, anger, control,

Not one of these things is fundamental to dissociation.

I was the life and soul of the party when I was dissociated. I aced my jobs. I travelled the world. I was on the phone all evening. Someone else might have been hiding in a corner. How much you socialise or are quiet is irrelevant. I think you're very mistaken in linking dissociation to withdrawal.

I think you need to accept that googling is not the answer.

It sounds like your wife is understandably deeply affected by her experiences. I would ask you not to take it on yourself to equate that with PTSD and I hope she will get appropriate diagnosis and treatment for whatever it is. You seem to care deeply for your wife. I hope for both your sakes that she will get appropriate professional help.