Relationship Unfortunately I Am Back

[Trembling]

I saw it coming.

Why are we supporters so helpless when the moment of depression takes over, and your love goes down again?

After two months of no obvious problem, which means no binge drinking at all, today was the day he went back.
I knew he was/is unhappy with the situation, but we agreed that we cannot change our life rapidly that we needed to wait a few months.

He is in rage, because of the drinks and he is aware that hard stuff just does not help the PTSD, but makes it come back in full power.

I hope I did not make too many mistakes, please forgive if I did.

I am home, waiting for a sign as he left a short while ago to go somewhere to find himself.

I am down, too.

 

[amethist]

Hi Trembling

It never does go away completely, it will always be there to rear its ugly head once in a while.

It is hard to see it coming, but in time you will begin to see the small signs and be prepared for what ever fall out comes at you. Being prepared means you can stand back and let it do its worst without you being too much in the firing line.

It takes time and you do not always get it right, but it is possible.

Drink is one of the worst things for bringing it up full force, especially the hard stuff.

Letting him find himself will be hard, but better if he does it away from you if he is the wosrt for the drink, hard as this is on you.

We are here anytime you need us.

 

[Trembling]

Thank you so much Amethist.

He called me finally about two hours later to come and pick him up, what I did, of course. The area where we live is not too funny, so him being aggressive to others, could have a very bad outcome.

He came home with me, and I was already relieved, very. He had a bad episode again, and wanted to smash some things, when I just yelled at him. Ok it did not bring him back to reality immediately, but at least it helped, and he stopped. And I have to say it helped me too :mad: to release some stress.

Of course he had troubles to sleep, even with meds, but this morning we got up together and now he is back in bed, hopefully for a few hours.

Luckily I do not have to be at work before afternoon today.

Thanks again.

 

[SeekingSerenity]

Hi Trembling,

I was going to say "good to see you again", but thats not really quite right for this type of scenario. But I'm sure you know what I mean.

Like Amethist said, PTSD will never completely go away, its with us for life unfortunately. You made the decision to stand by your man, marry him, knowing that he had it. I will be marrying my lady in 8 days, knowing that she will always have her episodes. We do it because we love them and we know what beautiful, wonderful, loving people they are when they are doing ok.

I know how hard it can hit when the bad days get them. I've been there with my Beloved. And every time its still as hard as the first to step back and give them their space. I have found that the more space, the easier and quicker the recovery. I don't know what helps your man, but its probably similar.

Know that we are here for you Trembling, the forum friends helped you get through the rough patch in the past, and we will help you in the future. Just keep faith in his love for you, and give him all the love he deserves when he needs it. We both know how much they actually appreciate it, even though they hardly ever show it. Hang onto and remember the good times, they will sustain you through the bad.

(((((hugs)))))
G.

 

[Trembling]

Hi Seeking Serenity!

Thank you for your kind words. Yes, it is true, we decided to stay with them.
I am glad that my man is willing to get help again, and this time it was not me who called the doctor for help. I told my love that I was proud of him doing so, and the doctor was glad he did. Monday we will go there, to get him back on the medication.

Stopping the antidepressant was a bad decision, but obviously he needed to see himself that it just does not work without.

I am happy for you and your future wife, as I know one thing, looking back to our wedding day pictures puts a smile on my face every time.

Though, as I felt very lonely when my love had his episode, I still have strength somewhere in me, to move on and to be there, as always.

It is very tough not to have anyone to talk about it.

Thank you for your support, as always.

6 days left for you to go until the big day - good luck!!!! :tup:

 

[Trembling]

Good morning!

I would like to know if you also experience extreme anger, after an episode?

I feel so bad about it, but I feel like blaming all of this on someone, which does not need to be my man, but just someone.

Today I will talk to the doc about it, as this not good. It is like feeling up and down and up and down.

 

[BigBear]

I've had extreme urges to hunt down and kill Angel's abusers. I don't know if that qualifies.

Bear

 

[Trembling]

Yep it does.

I would like to just smash one of our wooden doors until it falls out, but at the end I would have to clean up the mess too :cautious:

Yesterday we went to the doc, it is always a 2 hours drive if we have to make an emergency appointment, but at least my man fully agreed on the meds which he has to take again, and he promised that there will be no more getting off, until we move from here. Living where we are, without a job, is a huge factor of the depression.

I do understand his side too, but it does not justify anything at the end.