Relationship Unhealthy Relationship?

[ah888]

I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years and we found out she suffers from PTSD about 5 months ago. She was raped and abused and abandoned when she was young and it caused PTSD. When i first date her, i was so over the moon, i could take all of her attack or yelling or curses and i tried to please her because i thought that was her personalities.
When i already know about PTSD, i don't know why i still feel unsafe and it's an unhealthy relationship, i still try to please her because i don't want her triggers come - once it come, i'm the only victim of it, i keep being yelled, cursed, blamed,... even i didn't do anything wrong, i cry all the time and sometimes i even want to suicide. Feeling like i lost myself, i'm hurt before i know about PTSD and even now, i'm still hurt. i don't know who i am anymore, i can't talk to anyone even my family or my friends. i always feel guilty because of what she did to me, always tell me i was wrong, i was stupid, i was dumb and immature and more. i don't know am i right or wrong. she cheated but telling me it was just a replacement because she loves so much. i keep telling myself that because of PTSD makes she do that to me but it's not work, i still hurt and depressed.
I want to end this relationship even i know she did all those things to me because she has PTSD but it's just too painful for me. how can i breakup with her in a less painful way? because she said i'm the only one can help her cure PTSD, i afraid she'll commit suicide or do something danger for herself, i don't want to be a reason to someone death. i feel like i'll be a self-fish and horrible person once i put an end to our relationship
is it because of PTSD or else? i don't know, what can i do now?

 

[The ANP]

That's not PTSD that's manipulation.

 

[ah888]

That's not PTSD that's manipulation.

but she keep telling me that it's because of PTSD, sometimes when i said i want to breakup or stop, she cries and tells me it's because of PTSD and she says sorry and it was her fault, it makes me feel guilty and i'm a bad person, abandon a sick person
i don't know what to do anymore

 

[Friday]

PTSD is not an excuse to abuse the ones we love.

It's a reason to learn self control to not abuse the ones we love.

If she is so out of control she's hurting people? Then the best thing is for her not to be with people until she learns self control. And, yes. It can be learned. Needs to be learned. Period.

While some people with PTSD would never lash out at those closest to them, & don't have uncontrolled rage or uncontrolled fear as a symptom? Those of us who do? Need to learn to control ourselves. Because, yes, if we hurt someone while we're out of control, it is our fault. We are responsible for what we do. We are responsible for our actions. Feeling badly about our actions does not excuse them.

 

[Casey_03]

She's manipulating you, controlling you and engaging in emotional abuse. PTSD does not make people act like this. And you are not the only one who can cure her PTSD, that is a load of bullshit. For one, there's no cure for PTSD, and two, it sounds like she shouldn't be in a relationship at all and needs to be focusing on herself right now. If your instincts tell you this is an unhealthy relationship, your instincts are right and there is a reason you are feeling this way. If she has given you any reason to think she'd commit suicide if you left, that's emotional abuse, and it's a common tactic of abusers to pull crap like that. People make the mistake of thinking abusers are always scary, bad people, but the reality is abusers are often sick, confused people who aren't getting themselves the help that they need. It sounds like she falls into that category. You would not be a selfish, horrible person for leaving her -- you'd be doing her a favor by leaving her, because then maybe she'd finally be forced to get herself help and deal with her issues. The longer you stick around, the worse it will get for both of you and the more she will prolong her own recovery.

 

[Sweetpea76]

She has PTSD, but she is also a grown adult responsible for her own life and actions. Breaking g up with her is your choice. She doesn't get a say.

Please don't feel guilty. It sounds like you need to break up with her for your own mental health. Be kind to yourself first.

 

[ah888]

She has PTSD, but she is also a grown adult responsible for her own life and actions. Breaking g up...

She's manipulating you, controlling you and engaging in emotional abuse. PTSD does not make people act...

PTSD is not an excuse to abuse the ones we love.

It's a reason to learn self control to not [/...

Thanks so much, i'm so lost right now. i think i'll give myself a break and maybe taking a meditation class. i feel so good reading you guys replies.

 

[JM318]

Thanks so much, i'm so lost right now. i think i'll give myself a break and maybe taking a meditation cla...

Keep us posted, we are all here for you.