Cherry_Bluebell
Learning
My therapist said this is normal with PTSD, but I wondered if anybody else experiences these. I have violent nightmares about the violence I experienced growing up and violent nightmares unrelated to the trauma. I'm currently experiencing nightmares which are getting much more violent and where I'm being stabbed (I've never been stabbed in real life before). I actually feel the stabbing and in one dream I was stabbed to death and died. When I woke up I thought I was dead and it took me a while to realise it was just a dream because it felt that real. I have wondered if its related to my mother pulling out knives from the drawer and threatening to stab herself when she didn't get her own way (she wasn't really going to do it it was part of her games, but as a child I believed she was). Also I have random memories and dreams about the past that actually happened but I couldn't remember it before. When I experience these, I then remember it and I feel an intense emotion towards it (anger, feeling extremely irritated etc). Some of these memories aren't violent, they're things my mother said and did to hurt me or wind me up. My mother used to wind me up as a child til I screamed my head off, she used to get enjoyment from it