Unsettling Dreams Vs Nightmares

[TimidZiggy]

For the past week or so I've had very weird dreams, they are unsettling, maybe even a bit scary but I wouldn't exactly call them nightmares cause nightmares cause me to wake up terrified. These are just strange but they still make me not want to sleep? Or dread it I guess? Or are these nightmares too just lesser nightmares? Is there anyway to tell the difference?

 

[desiderata310]

Sounds like straining on a gnat or splitting hairs.
Sounds like a nightmare to me.

 

[TimidZiggy]

True but my nightmares or what I would consider to be nightmares are about my father or other abusive people I've been in relationships with. These dreams don't have those people but they are still unsettling just not terrifying. Guess the point is it doesn't really matter.

 

[desiderata310]

Well, they suck and they ARE nightmares and they are your subconscious trying to work stuff out

 

[WillyKat]

I know what you mean. On those rare occasions when I do remember dreams, they are often very confusing and anxiety producing. But they're well short of being terrifying.

They get particularly weird when I'm in a half-awake, half-asleep state, like early in the morning about 15 minutes before the alarm clock goes off.

I don't like them and I want them to stop. The thing I truly hate is that they are so weird I end up not being able to talk about them during therapy.


(And sorry for interrupting the dog avatar theme. On the other hand, perhaps a tree is just what every dog needs. :-) )

 

[desiderata310]

Hahah! I hadn't even noticed the dog theme.
I do know what you're talking about with the half-awake, right before the alarm clock goes off stuff. It's probably some of the most disturbing because it's like my brain KNOWS that the alarm is going to go off 45 seconds later and scare the shit out of me again when it happens. And I haven't tried to cross that barrier with my therapist yet but I have plans to do that. I wrote about one of them today trying to figure it out

 

[TimidZiggy]

Hahah! I hadn't even noticed the dog theme.
I do know what you're talking about with the half-awak...

Yeah I do this too but those dreams for me are like they feel like I actually am awake and doing stuff. Just now I fell asleep for about an hour and I was dreaming that I was doing something I would normally do but it was also some how terrifying as well, I dunno the mood or the tone of it. When I finally did wake up I was like "urg" and now the sense of dread is still with me. I HATE that.

 

[Panda Bear]

Sounds like a nightmare to me, sorry.

All of mine are some variation of a nightmare. They follow a pattern based on the time of year and what is being discussed in therapy.

But they're always nightmares....

 

[Powder]

{And now for yet another dog avatar! That is funny.}

A quick online definition says that a nightmare is a terrifying or unpleasant dream.

So yes, perhaps this qualifies, especially if you avoid thinking about it or you dread sleep because of it.

Holidays become exhausting to me because I have the same nightmare every time: apparently, I have somehow succumbed to sibling pressure and am on my way to reluctantly spend time with my abusers (parents). In the dream, I have somehow convinced myself that I can stomach time with them by blocking my emotions entirely (numbing) just to appease my siblings. But as soon as I am seeing my parents in the dream, I feel like I want to kill them, and I feel physically sick. I wake up feeling nausea, confused, and dirty.

I call it a "fear of repeat self-abandonment/playing the hero" nightmare. I am having this because I was put in a position in which I had to rescue siblings from abuse from both parents, very serious abuse. I felt I could not leave the family and had to watch over it constantly in order to keep people safe from one another. It is no wonder I had enough and no longer want any contact with any of them.

But I'm proud that I have been gracious enough to handle limited contact with some people.

It feels very Yucky each time I dream this, as if I am in physical proximity to the abusive parent. When I have seen the abusers, the physical sensation is overwhelming nausea. The dream brings up the same nausea, anorexia, and lack of appetite for living.

I believe the best way to stop a recurring dream is to wake up and finish the "Story" with a satisfying ending, such as leaving and putting an invisible barrier between them and me so that I never can see them again.

I suggest that even though it feels silly or forced, that you re-write the dream and end it with you being victorious and a winner with a strong feeling of being powerful, agile, and happy with your ability to overcome and win in a difficult situation. You may have to do it repeatedly but use your imagination and you'd be surprised how this tacked on ending can complete the stuck dream and lead to its resolution.

While this has worked well for me if I do this immediately, like putting cool on a burn, I have not done this yet with the holidays dream due to the intense nausea and confusion. I'm too knocked down by this feeling to fight back with a 're-write' in this way, so I'm having to tackle it on some other level of processing. Not sure what, but I'll have to get creative.

 

[Friday]

I invariably get to the point where I DGAF about my nightmares. I'll burst awake, or crawl halfway waking, or simply find my eyes shut and open them. My sheets will be soaked, or I'll have torn everything off the immediate areas, or realize the whole "movement while sleeping" thing that everyone does? I didn't do. Judging from the numbness and lividity. :rolleyes: Or simply stretch. My heart will be racing, breath rasping, or it will be a steady beat and even draw.

And I'll still be tired.

So f*ck it. I roll over, shut my eyes, and go back to sleep. Or I get up, strip my top layer of sheets (I layer sheets & mattress protectors), climb into dry clothes or just strip off the wet ones, lay down, and go back to sleep. Or I stretch, consider getting up, get my stubborn up, and deliberately turn back over to finish the f*cker.

I'd love to say that not caring about my nightmares meant that I had passed some point like in a novel & I slept happily ever after. Pfft. Nope! I still have nightmares. Sometimes they deeply affect me the next day / whenever I do decide to get up. Sometimes I don't even remember them. Sometimes I remember them vividly, and still just DGAF.

The only real difference in not giving a f*ck about them anymore? I'm better rested. <grin> I will take that! Makes such a huge difference in my days. 2 hours (or 20 minutes) of fitful sleep might knock the sharp edges off sleep dep, but 4 or 7 hours of fitful sleep actually starts to smooth things out.

At some point, I'll either start sleeping well again (yaaaaay! Nightmare cycle finis! For real, OMFG)... Or I will get pissed the hell off and start caring about the damn things, again. Damn, damn, dammit. And it's back to eyes wide shut, and sleep dep, and awfulness. Okay. Round 46! Fight! aaaaand I take it on the chin. Again. Fantastic. Blargh.

It's not until I start enjoying my dreams again, that they're dreams. Where I turn back over with a grin hoping to finish/restart a particularly good one, or simply find my eyes shut, open them, and go about my day.

To sleep... Perchance to dream. Dreams are a goodness. Sogni d'oro bella. Sweet dreams. Bliss.

Nightmares? Aren't.