Untreatable

[Notsowild]

I know there have been a few threads on therapies not helping. This is not quite the same. I do think I'm untreatable. I have too extensive of abuse for any therapist. Right now I am on a break from therapy due to lack of funds. I still have my psychiatrist though.

I haven't finished the CBT therapy yet. And I am scheduled to go back to work shortly, once all my accommodations are figured out. And of course my verbally abusive manager is still there. I am feeling so much anxiety and panic just thinking about work. It's just bad timing when I really need some help my insurance won't pay anymore.

I know I will never be normal. I just want to be functional enough to work and have friends. Right now I just feel scared of how I'll handle this alone. Any other help anyone can think of? Thanks

 

[Rizen]

Sorry that's happening. I've had bad experiences with therapy as a kid so it doesn't work for me. You might be able to find someone who works for you but it's a long road ahead. There might be somethings you can do for yourself too. Something that helps me is to get out in nature for example. Maybe art or something. There probably are crisis helplines if you're really doing bad. I've found this site to be very helpful and most people on here are supportive.

Sorry work is bad; that's always a hard thing to deal with. I know this isn't exactly realistic advice but try not to worry about it. Maybe distract yourself with something enjoyable.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm not quite sure what to tell you.... I don't think you're UNtreatable.... Maybe you have a tougher case of PTSD that is resistant to treatment, but I don't think that means there is no hope.

I went through therapist after therapist after therapist, none of whom were very helpful. Some actually made things worse as I ended up in a state of derealization (or was it depersonalization?). I was resolved to just live with my trauma, completely unprocessed. But, I decided to push forward and found a therapist and a trauma program that were able to help me. It wasn't an easy process, but I just want to urge you to keep pushing forward. It is hard to find a good therapist and a good type of therapy. Truth be told, it has taken quite a few therapies and a number of therapists in order to get maximum benefit. I don't have a therapist right now as I'm on break, but I know I need to go back at some point to get help with my obsessive thoughts. I wish you the best.

 

[junglegirl]

No one is untreatable. There are a majority of therapists unable to treat trauma. This is not a reflection upon you but upon the therapist's lack of expertise in trauma. Don't ever let anyone convince you that you are untreatable what a horrible wayto feel. I hope you feel better soon. Love yourself and be gentle with yourself and know you will heal in your own time and you are not your trauma you are so much more.

 

[Notsowild]

Thanks everyone for all your great responses. I just feel like crying all night. I'll respond tomorrow.

 

[Laura 2]

:hug: to you, Notsowild. It feels so hopeless sometimes, doesn't it?

Although I'm with junglegirl: no one is untreatable. At least, it helps to hang on to that.

Junglegirl also points out that the majority of therapists are not qualified or knowledgeable enough to treat PTSD. Our MH services seem to view PTSD as just another form of 'anxiety' and throw their anxiety treatments at it. Strangely, they're surprised when they don't work.

My understanding, as someone who was diagnosed in 2007 and have not been able to find anyone who really gets it (except perhaps the world-renowned expert's expert who diagnosed originally - now, sadly, retired), is that profound and/or chronic trauma causes actual brain changes which need to be understood and treated. As yet, science hasn't managed to translate that knowledge to on-the-ground services so we get inadequate and wrong 'anxiety' treatment.

This makes me feel 'untreatable' too. But then I put my rational hat on and see that it's not my failing or anything intractable about the PTSD. Rather, it's that medical science really hasn't got a grip on the physical condition which produces effects that look similar to mental disorders and, in practice, MH services are poor to abysmal in most places.

 

[Lionheart]

I once thought of myself as un-treatable because I suffered severe prolonged, sexual child abuse and many other types of abuse as well. I think that maybe I will always have this battle of PTSD to contend with, but I want you to know that after 14 years of therapy and treatment for disabling PTSD and Depression, I am doing really well and have healed many aspects of my life, mind, and spirit!!!

My message for you is to not give up on yourself. I believe you too can heal a great deal of the trauma(s) if you remain committed to healing. I want to add that I have had many different treatments used to help me, such as C.B.T, D.B.T and more.

It takes a lot of guts, determination, and time, but I believe that you too can heal, if you can push through the hopelessness and helplessness that is so much a part of beginning treatment.

best of luck to you,
Lionheart777

 

[Caterpillar]

There are things you can do on your own to help promote healing. You can journal, do CBT and DBT exercises from workbooks, practice grounding techniques and meditation on your own. Since you still have a psychiatrist, you could look into taking an antiadrenergic drug (i.e. beta blockers) to help with acute anxiety, if you aren't already. I've recently seen a few papers suggesting these are more effective than benzos for PTSD-related anxiety, and they aren't nearly as addictive.

I don't believe anyone is untreatable if they truly want to do the hard work of examining their thought processes for poor coping mechanisms and learning better ones. Even if you always have PTSD symptoms, you can learn to cope with them better.

Personally I haven't found therapy helpful, partially because I've had some lousy therapists but also because I have issues with trust and authority which interfere. The whole therapeutic relationship is triggering to me. I feel like I'm making more progress learning coping techniques on my own right now.

 

[Sarah2732]

I just wanted to chime in and add to the chorus that I don't think anyone is untreatable who wants to fight for themselves, even a little. I also saw a number of therapists who really had no clue until finally finding one I clicked with and who really understood trauma and it made such a big difference. 5 years with her helped unravel a lot of the knots that were so tight and so hidden I'd never even had hope of unraveling.

The therapist who was really able to connect and work with my trauma very naturally was a therapist who'd experienced disaster-related trauma as a child and spent years in therapy as an adult and then became a therapist. I mention that because if indeed that was what made her so good (I think so, but I'm also sure it was a number of factors) that's maybe something to look for. One place easier to find that might be a group therapy type setting. Through that setting, I've met a few people in later stages of recovery and they've been inspiring and understanding in a way others aren't.

Also, Caterpillar mentioned beta blockers and they worked great for me a few years ago, and still sometimes. Most anti-anxiety meds make your brain feel relaxed while your body is still raging with anxiety. Beta-blockers (originally labeled for high blood pressure) calm your body and slow a racing heart, which makes your brain able to work better to asses and deal with a situation.

 

[Notsowild]

Sorry that's happening. I've had bad experiences with therapy as a kid so it doesn't work for me. You might be able to find someone who works for you but it's a long road ahead

I've had a few psychiatrists and CSA groups and counselling years ago. I don't feel they helped at all.

I'm not quite sure what to tell you.... I don't think you're UNtreatable.... Maybe you have a tougher case of PTSD that is resistant to treatment, but I don't think that means there is no hope.

Childhood trauma does seem untreatable to me. I've tried a lot of therapies. Added on this last trauma and I'm an even more complicated case.

But, I decided to push forward and found a therapist and a trauma program that were able to help me. It wasn't an easy process, but I just want to urge you to keep pushing forward. It is hard to find a good therapist and a good type of therapy. Truth be told, it has taken quite a few therapies and a number of therapists in order to get maximum benefit. I wish you the best.

Thanks @Solara

 

[Notsowild]

No one is untreatable. Don't ever let anyone convince you that you are untreatable what a horrible wayto feel. I hope you feel better soon. Love yourself and be gentle with yourself and know you will heal in your own time and you are not your trauma you are so much more.

.
I think after going through 12 years of CSA you're always going to have some stuff that will never go away. I'm trying to work through some new symptoms of my latest trauma. After that I will just have to live with all my oddities. Thank you for your reply. Have you had therapy?

:hug: to you, Notsowild. It feels so hopeless sometimes, doesn't it
Junglegirl also points out that the majority of therapists are not qualified or knowledgeable enough to treat PTSD. Our MH services seem to view PTSD as just another form of 'anxiety' and throw their anxiety treatments at it. Strangely, they're surprised when they don't work.
This makes me feel 'untreatable' too. But then I put my rational hat on and see that it's not my failing or anything intractable about the PTSD. Rather, it's that medical science really hasn't got a grip on the physical condition which produces effects that look similar to mental disorders and, in practice, MH services are poor to abysmal in most places.

I agree I've been through so many treatments and therapies and nothing has really helped. Sure anxiety is part of it but right about the rest. It is just overlooked or forgotten . It does feel pretty hopeless most days. I just want to crawl into bed and forget the world.
How do you set through the bad days?

 

[Notsowild]

I once thought of myself as un-treatable because I suffered severe prolonged, sexual child abuse and many other types of abuse as well. I think that maybe I will always have this battle of PTSD to contend with, but I want you to know that after 14 years of therapy and treatment for disabling PTSD and Depression, I am doing really well and have healed many aspects of my life, mind, and spirit!!!

Thanks @Lionheart777... I don't know I've tried a lot of therapies and I still feel the effects from my prolonged child abuse. Do you think childhood trauma is harder to treat ( or recover from) then adult trauma? Of course I'm dealing with both now. Thanks for all your kind words. It's nice to know there are good men in the world.