General Update

[LWright1209]

Things are rocky at best, but I am trying to push through it. He was put on Trileptal (sp) last Thursday, and I can really tell a difference when he takes it. However, when the meds wear off he is back to raging and hating me. He takes the meds every 12 hours, but hasn't been taking them long enough for it to be built up in his system. Just hours ago he was telling me he felt normal...and then the medicine wore off and now he wants me out of his house and he feels like he's going crazy.

I work from home, so leaving isn't possible. I have no intention of being here when he gets home, but I have to come back so I can work. I am trying to make it through this long enough for the meds to build up and then see where it leads.

I know that he is currently trying to hurt me the way he is hurting, and for the first time I told him I wasn't talking to him and turned my phone off. I don't know where this is going to lead, or if we are going to make it through this, but I am dedicated to making sure that he continues to get help. He has been seeing a therapist, but it is only every two weeks which I don't think is enough. I married him because I loved him, not because he was perfect...however, I know that I can't do this alone.

My next step is to try to find a counselor for ME.

 

[TLight]

Thank you for trying to help him. As a sufferer, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is a very hard, lonely and painful journey for us.........to have someone out there that cares as much as you obviously do is a beautiful and necessary thing.

But in no way should you allow yourself to be abused. I tell my boyfriend this repeatedly after I have a bad episode. I remind him to not allow me to abuse him..........he keeps his boundaries very clear, which is the only thing that will help me. If I ever over step them, he will draw the line.

Sometimes my anger comes out when triggered and I appear mad at him........he understands that he may have done something seemingly insignificant that triggers that anger...........and he sort of logically reinforces that he is not the one who caused the initial hurt and that all that anger is coming from the past. He does not take it personally, but owns up when he makes a mistake that can trigger me. This is very helpful to me, no matter how much at the time I want to yell and scream at him............it is not really him that has generated that anger in me..........he realizes this immediately.

Thank you for helping this man.