Using Soft Toys To Help Healing?

[barefoot]

Thank you for the link @Sandstone - I got a bit teary reading it!

Sounds like your pandas could be a big help with the IC demands? Good luck!

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Glad I'm not the only one who *cough* puts teddies on trees and stuff..

 

[jaccat]

I've never not slept with a teddy bear. I had the same one in my bed from birth until he became too fragile to cuddle when I was in my twenties. After that I went through a handful of others, none of which seemed quite right, until I rescued another one of my childhood bears last year. He's a big one, slightly larger than your average pillow, and I literally cannot sleep without him.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

sure your T would be open to it

I think I will, although I'd probably ask her opinion (permission?!) first. I'm sort of struggling with T currently because it's psychoanalytic :confused:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

1) I feel stupid taking a soft toy to bed at my age
2) I like sitting and cuddling him. But I feel ashamed of that.
3) I've taken him to the last couple of sessions and he's sat on the sofa next to me. I can't bring myself yet to sit and hold him in sessions. It's not that I don't want to...it's more that I feel mortified for wanting to.
4) I think I am partly cautious that this is my therapist's way of trying to sneakily do some inner child work with me. The very thought of doing that work freaks me right out.

Well being that ive slept (proudly on the sofa in front of my dad, step mom and her daughter and husband for a while) with the same teddy bear since i was 18 whom needs retiring and replaced with a new one being im 35; dont feel embarrased. My neighbor turned best friend turned roommate when i was 18 bought him for me because of night terrors. He even has a name.

I also have a body pillow with the softest furry pillow case i have ever felt and so inside of my self soothing teqniques in the day (and at work) includes this pillow case. I bought a 2nd to cut into a small piece and keep it in my purse that comes out at work. I keep it on my desk and sort of rub it on my cheek at a high stress time and take it in my pocket and rub it in my hand. I also take it out in therapy and just roll it around in my hands. I always have to be doing something with my hands in therapy and this helps me. This was based inside of DBT of 5 soothing techniques.

If it soothes you, f*ck everyone else. I also do another soothing thing at night that ive always done. Night time is super hard for me.

Run this by your therapist as it helps me to do this, keeps me grounded in the present. Take a small stress or nerf ball and slowly toss it back and forth with your therapist as you talk. I brought it into therapy and it worked and so he keeps it on his desk and throw it at me to start the toss back & forth when im starting to disaocciate. He is good at keeping me from going by himself and can pull me out of it but it doesnt help to keep doing that so this helps keep me in the here and now. If i stop he will give me a min and get my attention to throw the ball.

I dont think your therapist is trying to be sneeky. I think she is trying to help you self soothe

 

[The ANP]

I stil sleepwith a teddy bear in my 30s no shame!

 

[barefoot]

@lostforgottensoul - the ball throwing is interesting. When I dissociate badly, I go into a total physical freeze, so I suspect that if she threw a ball at me then, i wouldn't move and it would just hit me! ;-) But it may help in the spacey time before I reach that point. I'll have a think about that...

I dont think your therapist is trying to be sneeky. I think she is trying to help you self soothe

Yes, I think you are probably right. Perhaps it would be useful for me to tell her that it feels like an inner child connection and that is slightly freaking me out...?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Perhaps it would be useful for me to tell her that it feels like an inner child connection and that is slightly freaking me out...?

Definitely! I think it would help to have a dialog about it as she can sort of ease your mind or you guys can work through why its freaking you out before you do anything. I think she is just trying to find a way for you to be soothed and if Im correct (and if it works) I suspect any stuffed animal that soothes you would suffice. Unless she specifically asked for this one stuffed animal.

When I dissociate badly, I go into a total physical freeze, so I suspect that if she threw a ball at me then, i wouldn't move and it would just hit me!

I do too, he catches me before I disocissate but he also reads body langauge and mico expressions and has worked with me constantly trying to disocissate for 7 yrs so he knows when Im about to or close to it.

But it may help in the spacey time before I reach that point.

Yes, exactly. Start the toss back and forth when you feel a bit spacey and it helps to ground you in the present reality so you dont disassociate. Just run it by her and see if she thinks it will help.

Sometimes Ive thrown the ball hard against the wall. Thats helped too or at least helped him know where im at mentally and that he hit a raw spot. Its a stress ball so soft and can be thrown hard against the wall and not hurt anything, or tossed at a person softly and not hurt. He's hit me on the head with it, on purpose, before to get my attention when I was getting spacey. Also I never look at him (and still dont, I look at the ball) but its helping me to start looking in his direction.

Its rather new in therapy. A few months. I forget where I heard about it and we dont do it every session...just the spacey times.

With the stuffed animal, advise her about it being connect with your inner child and inner child work freaks you out and see if a different stuffed animal would suffice and see if a new one would help a bit to not be connected to your past.

 

[barefoot]

@lostforgottensoul - it is because of associations I have with him (safety/comfort/soothing) from when I was little that she encouraged me to reunite with him and start bringing him to sessions. He's a "powerful transitional object" apparently. So, I think, he specifically is the point.

I only have positive feelings towards him - he himself doesn't freak me out at all.

The whole experience of cuddling a toy....it makes me feel child-like...and I think that is the thing that's spooking me....that I feel less adult when I find myself laying with my arms around a stuffed dog. And that doesn't feel....comfortable...

 

[The ANP]

If the dog is a metaphor for your inner child connection would it be helpful to think of him symbolically I.E. You are not an adult cuddling a stuffed animal, you are a healthy adult cuddling your wounded inner child?

 

[barefoot]

You are not an adult cuddling a stuffed animal, you are a healthy adult cuddling your wounded inner child?

I'm sure my therapist would be delighted if I could reframe the experience this way! But this is a very stressful thought to me. I don't want to engage with my inner child, so the thought of cuddling it is...well, it's a pretty horrible thought.

And I guess this is what I meant about wondering/worrying if this is my therapist trying to sneak some inner child work in to things. She's saying it's just a way of providing some comfort. But if she starts then going down the route of it representing hugging my inner child or something, I don't think that's going to go down too well!

Perhaps I just need to mention this to her to get this concern out in the open.

 

[The ANP]

Sounds like you have a good level of self awareness on this. Talking about it with your T will make sure you are both on the same page and in an area you are comfortable going. That way there are no surprises.