Kintsugi
Sponsor
Kas, just a thought, and this is not at all saying you didn't handle things reasonably at all as it stands, but how might it have affected your confidence or sense of security to simply answer whatever they were asking by saying something like, "I would appreciate you leaving this property," instead of engaging with them?
There was this hitchhiker who approached my car once while I was with my SO. My SO was being his usual friendly, willing to help self, but the way this guy approached him/the car (SO was outside the car, I was sitting in the driver's seat) and asking/bartering for a ride, and the way he was speaking--there was something insidious about it all. As a general rule I only pick up aged women, women with small children, and aged veterans. This man was being oddly aggressive in his approach. My SO basically said, "Sure, we'll give you a lift," and looked at me for agreement. The man said to me, "You're a kind person. I can see it in your eyes. You have compassion." I said, "No. We will not do that. I do not feel comfortable with it. Please leave us alone." He couldn't believe it: "What? Are you really gonna do that to me? You're that malicious?" I just said, "I think I was clear in asking you to leave me alone. Go away or I will tell the shopkeeper you are harassing patrons." He kept calling me names while trying to get me to change my mind. "You're not hearing me," I said, "Leave me alone."
Admittedly afterward I was shaking and began to cry, but when we drove away, I also felt really strong, really empowered, like I did the right thing by not engaging this rude person or buying what he was selling, so to speak.
Not sure if that helps at all, or even applies. Just a thought I had.
There was this hitchhiker who approached my car once while I was with my SO. My SO was being his usual friendly, willing to help self, but the way this guy approached him/the car (SO was outside the car, I was sitting in the driver's seat) and asking/bartering for a ride, and the way he was speaking--there was something insidious about it all. As a general rule I only pick up aged women, women with small children, and aged veterans. This man was being oddly aggressive in his approach. My SO basically said, "Sure, we'll give you a lift," and looked at me for agreement. The man said to me, "You're a kind person. I can see it in your eyes. You have compassion." I said, "No. We will not do that. I do not feel comfortable with it. Please leave us alone." He couldn't believe it: "What? Are you really gonna do that to me? You're that malicious?" I just said, "I think I was clear in asking you to leave me alone. Go away or I will tell the shopkeeper you are harassing patrons." He kept calling me names while trying to get me to change my mind. "You're not hearing me," I said, "Leave me alone."
Admittedly afterward I was shaking and began to cry, but when we drove away, I also felt really strong, really empowered, like I did the right thing by not engaging this rude person or buying what he was selling, so to speak.
Not sure if that helps at all, or even applies. Just a thought I had.
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