Venting Room

[hapa_gurl87]

I hate therapist I call them "The Rapist" because that's what they are. They waste your time telling you stuff you already know and ruin your life by re-traumatizing you and they take all your money. I could sue my ex therapist for therapy malpractice but I don't think I'd have the guts considering I've had her as a therapist for years and her intentions were never to cause harm but whether or not that was her intention is it still ok that she made me go back to where my trauma was and talk about my trauma. I have so much shit to say about all therapist, psychologists and psychiatrists. My first psychiatrist i ever had almost killed me off of the medication he prescribed me **** that sheit!!!!!!!! **** I cant ****ing stand how ****ing pathetic they ****ing are!!!!!! I mean I could help a traumatized patient more then my therapist has helped me because I been there and done that and have healed from it so I know alot about trauma from my own personal experience. Yeah I just dont trust them I mean I guess Im saying all of this because Im hella pissed off at my ex therapist who i never want to have anything to do with her again because unless she fixes what she done or pays for it because this is my life and i have lost my peace of mind body and spirit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bitch **** you !!!!!!!!!!!

 

[maria]

Just Need To Vent

Yesterday I decided I'd go to the senior center today to play Wii bowling. Not an exciting activity, but I've been home alone too much lately. I had to return books to the library anyway, and it's in the same building. So I called for a ride with the senior bus. One of the reasons I haven't been going there is all the cold and snow. I usually walk. So I decide I spent the 2 dollars and take the bus.

First the bus doesn't show up on time. So I call them and find out they're sending a bus, but it's 15 mins. late. Then when he gets here he drives all the way to the other side of town and then to the train station to drop people off. O.K. I'm not going to be on time to play, but maybe I can get in on the second round. I get there and find out the Wii people are going to a tournament. They invite me to come, like I going to go someplace I've never been with people I've never met and then going out to lunch!

So the assistant director arranges for me to get a ride home, for which I have to wait, of course. In the mean time, she says something like, 'These things happen." I remind her I have PTSD. She says something like, "And?"

I want to scream at her that I can't handle this, that it makes me feel like I can't trust people to do what they're supposed to (which is a big deal with me).

Then she says, "Oh, it's just this lousy weather. I feel down too. I went to the gym yesterday, and felt so good afterward."

Again I want to scream at her that it's not just the weather, that I have an illness, and that I don't care about her gym experiences, but I don't. I have this problem all the time. People say something hurtful or stupid, and I can't get a word out.

So I get even more upset, this time with myself. Grrrr.

maria

 

[midi]

Aye, it is frustrating.

 

[Mina]

Been really overwhelmed lately, and something a co-worker said yesterday brought up a lot of shit I didn't want to think about or feel. When I got home after work, it was clear I was upset. So my husband actually got up from his chair in front of the XBox, sat down with me on the couch, and held my hand while I talked. This lasted a few minutes and was really nice...he even said, "If you want to cry, that's okay - I'm here." I was thinking of doing just that, and was starting to come out of the funk when a couple minutes later he stood up and said, "Hey, I'm gonna go get some cheese and chips," and headed for the kitchen. Then he came back, sat down in his chair again, and resumed his XBox game as if I wasn't even in the room.

It's no wonder we fought last night. And he can't believe I said that what he did was inappropriate. F**k him. If he spent 1/10th the time with me that he does with that stupid machine, good quality time, our relationship would be totally different. But no. He just keeps sending the message that everything else is more important.

 

[Sethe]

I with my mother would leave me the F*CK ALONE! I do not want to be sucked back in and assimilated. NO!

Is there a communal 'Crying Room' to accompany the 'Venting Room?'

 

[Heather]

I agree with Sethe MOTHER'S SUCK!!!!!!!!

 

[Mina]

The more I deal with people in general, the more I think people in general suck. In the big scheme, this is a little thing, but it's really bothering me and just goes to underscore people sucking. Just had some people pick up some fairly expensive mirrored sliding closet doors I'd freecycled. Picked up the track and brought it over to their vehicle for them to load while they were tying down the doors. Guy looks at me dismissively and says, "Oh, we don't need that. We only want these for the mirrors." Well guess what...had I known that, I'd had given them to someone other than your rude ass. Because now I have to break that track up and throw it away - which was the whole damned point of freecycling, so I didn't have to throw anything in the trash because that really bothers me!!! Wish I'd had the balls to tell him, "No, this is part of the package, and now it's yours to deal with...(asshole)," but I was too surprised and angry. People effing suck, especially here: they are stupid and rude and have an unwarranted sense of entitlement. I will be putting "take all" as part of anything else I post to that group. I can't wait to get out of this shitty town.

 

[anthony]

Mina... do you think they don't have a right to say they didn't want specific pieces, if you never stated prior, Take All?

Is this really the cause of your frustration, or is it a little deeper than that? PC me if you need...

 

[Crl1983]

Today was horrendous! Had to go to the doctor because I've been having really bad stomach pain and nausea that keeps getting worse, and have to go back tomorrow for an abdominal ultrasound and more tests. Then, I had to go with my fiance to pick up his car, it was out near where he works. I knew I would have to drive back and I had a feeling it was a bad idea because of the 24 mile long bridge but I made myself anyway, trying to be tough. Let's just say I got lost before I even made it to the bridge. There was so much traffic, cars everywhere and I am not familiar with this area. I've been around there before but always with my fiance driving and I zone out when I'm riding as a passenger. So anyhow, I started to feel disoriented. I tried to follow the gps but it was telling me to go the opposite way from where my fiance told me to go. There was so much traffic, so much racket, too much going on. I got so overwhelmed. I started having a horrible panic attack , so bad I had to pull over in a parking lot and just sit, trying to ride it out and calm down for around 15 minutes. Called my fiance, got the directions straight, but of course I ended up lashing out at him in the process.

When the bridge was in view I felt relieved because I knew if I followed it I could find the rest of the way back home. Err, false sense of relief! The bridge is 2 lanes on that side, very narrow lanes. I was freaking out the whole way down the bridge, I was gripping the damn wheel so tightly that my hands still hurt! I was doing 10 mph over the speed limit trying to rush to get off the darned thing, and even going that fast I would get people riding my a** and would start to freak out again, wanting desperately to pull off on one of the turnabouts, but not doing so out of more fear that someone would hit me if I slowed down. Staring at the road, staring at the road. Eventually too afraid too look around or at any other cars kept thinking I would lose control and crash or go over the side of the bridge. I felt myself starting to dissociate and I started seeing spots, big spots (with my eyes open). I kept having to blink really fast because they were obscuring my vision. I had to resort to loudly singing Christmas songs, yes freaking Christmas songs to keep myself from going under. One after another. I don't know why I did that or where I got the idea, but at least it worked somewhat, because I got home in one piece! Now, time for some coffee. I so need it.

 

[bittersweet]

I am getting really annoyed and discouraged with my hunt for a new T. I have called over 30 places and either no one is taking new patients, they don't accept my inurance or they don't answer at all or return my messages. I am not left with much else. No one within a 100 mile radius of me deals with PTSD and not even sexual abuse. I feel like I am going to explode. I need help and yet no one around can help me. *bangs head on a wall* I feel as if my anxiety and depression are going to make me go insane.

 

[heymar]

I will not see a doctor by myself and if the person cannot go on the day of appointment, I cry because I am afriad of being yelled at again by a doctor or staff, so I cancel. I have had to prove that I have Fibro and crohn’s. Recently I had to have surgery. Went in for bloodwork and to talk with the anetesea person. He asks ????’s and when I answer he would say I do not believe you, then he told me of about ten ways you can die in surgery. I called my sister and told her I am not going to have surgery. There is no way that I can let him put me under knowing he held hatered toward me. Well she made them replace him with another. It all started in 2008 when a doctor and his team mocked me and accused me of making up things that I had listed. I wnet home and cried for two weeks. Stayed home for over three years, only leaving my apartment to buy grocries. And go see another doctor just to have them abuse me to. When I ask to see my medical records, they want to know why I want to see them, I tell them that I am tired of being yelled at and I want to know what is in them, so I can defend myself. Then I get yelled at agan. When I do get them, they only give me copies of the paper you check out with. Do I have PTSD? YES!

 

[Rob_Dog19]

Venting is exactly what i need...
I just took my relationship with my boyfriend to the next level...and I've been experiencing some pain and burning...so I asked him, and he revealed to me that he has a history of Chlamydia. This is not the way to start our f*cking relationship...Not to mention the fact that I could potentially be pregnant...uggghh I want to punch somebody!!!!!!!!!! I had to buy the f*cking pregnancy test and go get tested for stds...i swear i should just stick to girls...i'm so f*cking tired of boys.